raquel’s Reviews > Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime > Status Update

having attachment needs doesn’t make you “needy.” Clients frequently ask me, “Isn’t it codependent to expect my partner to meet all of these needs for me?” But the answer is no. Met attachment needs (and we’re only talking about met attachment needs, not every single need a person has) are simply what’s necessary to feel close to another person. They don’t make you whole, but they do make a loving relationship whole. That doesn’t mean your partner has to love you before you can love yourself. Our partners’ love can help us love ourselves, or help us expand upon the love we already have for ourselves, but their love can’t make us love ourselves—that needs to be happening independent of them.