Katrina Passick Lumsden’s Reviews > A New Dream > Status Update
Katrina Passick Lumsden
is 28% done
"He loved people, even if the only person he had talked to lately was his dead wife."..... Ummm...
— Jul 25, 2015 10:36PM
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Katrina Passick Lumsden
is 29% done
"He closed the door to his consciousness..." Is this doable? More importantly, can it be done while reading? Because it could seriously come in handy.
— Jul 25, 2015 10:39PM
Katrina Passick Lumsden
is 25% done
He's known this guy less than a day, and he thinks it's a grand idea to just walk into his apartment? Nice.
— Jul 25, 2015 10:23PM
Katrina Passick Lumsden
is 24% done
"His hardness hurt so much he decided that he might as well relieve himself again." S-e-x-a-y.
— Jul 25, 2015 10:17PM
Katrina Passick Lumsden
is 23% done
There are superfluous commas everywhere, including two bracketing the word 'but', which drives me frickin' crazy, but the Oxford comma? Nowhere in sight. *pulling out hair*
— Jul 25, 2015 10:11PM
Katrina Passick Lumsden
is 23% done
"David silently went into ecstasy..." That's good. Going into audible ecstasy can be very embarrassing.
— Jul 25, 2015 10:07PM
Katrina Passick Lumsden
is 23% done
"The blades of a ceiling fan stood still, ready to move at the first sign of heat." Guys... I need one of these heat-activated fans. Like, yesterday.
— Jul 25, 2015 10:05PM
Katrina Passick Lumsden
is 22% done
The writing here leaves something to be desired. Not English as a first language, I'm guessing, because this is really stilted.
— Jul 25, 2015 10:00PM
Katrina Passick Lumsden
is 5% done
"... Who considered him the poor widow who survived the car accident that killed his wife." Men are not widows. They're widowers.
— Jul 25, 2015 09:59PM
