Charlie Fenton’s Reviews > Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing > Status Update

alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful . . . but I would also add that it’s patient. As soon as you raise your hand and say, “I’m having a problem,” it’s as though addiction says, “Well, if you’re going to be so stupid as to say something about it, I’ll go away for a while. . . .” I’ll be in a rehab for three months and think, Well, I’m going to use when I get out of here, but I can wait

‘So I didn’t ask. I was too scared, or broken, or bent. I had remained completely faithful to her the whole time, including the last two years, two years in which for some reason I didn’t want to have sex with her anymore, two years in which no amount of couples therapy could explain why I’d never asked the damn question, and why now I just looked on her as my best friend only. My buddy; my best buddy.‘

One last note for this point: those criticising the writing, but this is his first (I believe) book and what everyone has wanted for hears. Surely some blame has to be put on the editors? He is just telling his life story here.

Continue from my last note: he also has nothing but praise for the people who put up with him, especially the women, and his co-stars. He admires David a lot for renegotiating contracts so everyone was on the same salary (David was making the most). I admire how honest he is, but I see why some don’t like it, perhaps because he is too open?

Reviews have criticised him for being a womaniser and full of self pity. From what I’ve gathered so far, he has confidence issues (hence the breaking up with women because he felt he wasn’t good enough and they would leave him) and the obvious drug and drink problems. Don’t think he pities himself, he calls himself stupid a lot, but I wouldn’t say pity. It feels more like reading a diary than a book though.

‘Turned out Julia had been offered the post–Super Bowl episode in season two and she would only do the show if she could be in my story line. Let me say that again—she would only do the show if she could be in my storyline. (Was I having a good year or what?) But first, I had to woo her.’

‘Hank Azaria thought it was so good he auditioned for it twice, for the role of Joey. That’s right—he auditioned for it, got passed on, begged and pleaded to go in again, and got passed on again. (Later, Hank would be Phoebe’s romantic interest for a few episodes, performances for which he won an Emmy. I did 237 episodes and won nothing.)’

‘When I read the script for Friends Like Us it was as if someone had followed me around for a year, stealing my jokes, copying my mannerisms, photocopying my world-weary yet witty view of life. One character in particular stood out to me: it wasn’t that I thought I could play “Chandler,” I was Chandler.’

‘this point I was hanging out a lot with two brothers, Chris and Brian Murray. Somehow, since third grade we’d developed a way of talking that went, “Could it be any hotter?” or “Could the teacher be any meaner?” or “Could we be more in detention?”—a cadence you might recognize if you’re a fan of Friends, or if you’ve noticed how America has been talking for the past couple of decades or so.’

“If you give me all the OxyContin I can stand, I feel taken care of, and when I’m taken care of, I can take care of everybody else and look outward and be in service to someone. But without medication, I feel that I would just sputter away into a sea of nothingness. This, of course, means it’s pretty much impossible for me to be useful or in service in a relationship’