Lelyana's Reviews’s Reviews > MAXWELL 1: Not Without Guilt > Status Update

“If it would prevent him from suffering for the next two decades,” Max whispered, “I would give them up. I would rather he never loved me, and be happy in his life. Than to love me and suffer for it every day of his life.”

“You don’t wish for the impossible. It will end up tearing you apart. When something is gone, and you know it’s gone...then you let it go. Otherwise, you’re just holding onto a ghost, and I guarantee you – it will haunt you all the days of your life.”

“I’ll leave,” “But I’m not going to Harvard. I’m just...going.”
“Max,” Xavier shook his head. “Don’t throw away your future over this. I’m offering you the world as well.”
“No,” Max choked and shouldered the bag then looked at the man through a wall of tears. “You just took it away.
[image error]

A numbness spread through Max’s body, permeating his heart. It’s best if he leaves. All you do is add to the hurt you started twenty years ago when you walked out on him. He died that day.
Tears rose and slid down Max’s face. He stared blankly down the corridor. “I died too.”

You are a selfish bastard, Maxwell Raines. You push him away for twenty years – and now you want to begrudge him finding someone who will let him love them? Even if you could have him, you don’t fucking deserve him

He had no doubt he would enjoy it, but what if Max decided he didn’t like doing it that way? What if it turned him off guys? Horatio would go crazy if Max stopped being gay and didn’t want to be his boyfriend anymore.

Sometimes the path to heaven should be cut through hell first...