Reece’s Reviews > She Wolf > Status Update

Can no one just say things? Must everything be mentioned, asked, snapped, commented, announced, exhaled, repeated, sighed, stated, shouted, yelled, instructed, cried out, trailed, muttered, whispered... ffs

We need to choose a tense and stick with it.

The need to feel the pack, and the bond that ties us all was so heavy.

Even basic shit like quotation marks are off, and why are we using single quotes when we've been using double quotes previously? And why are some things in italics? It's just insulting. Even a beta reader could catch this shit.

"I shuffled on the ground as pain radiated through the back of my spine."
The back of the spine. Right.

"Let the records show that everything about them is direfully catastrophic."
Is that a word?

"He smiled, his gaze lingering on me for a few minutes too long."
A few minutes too long? Even staring at someone for 60 seconds is weird. 180 seconds is like enough time to microwave a bag of popcorn.

I wiped the trail of sweat from my forehead using the back of my hand, while pushing back the loose strands of hair."

"Most fourteen-year-olds also are not learning combat training..." She trailed.

There was only so much ass-kicking one person could take before common sense finally got knocked onto them.

Oh look, it includes a playlist... Oh cool it has Justin Bieber on it; this bodes well. This is like giving a fucking mixtape to your crush. Wait, no, this is like when one of your friends forces you to listen to a song they are really digging and really tries to ensure that you GET the DEEP meaning. They accomplish this by loudly singing along and staring at you without blinking.

This better not suck.