Jai’s Reviews > The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships > Status Update

Many couples in the West will break up rather than deal with certain problems. Unresolved problems do not just disappear because we walk away. They will show up under a different face in our next relationship. Every time we move on, we take the ills of past relationships with us to the next one, until we finally wake up, bring closure to the problem, and begin the healing process.

The growth of a relationship is enhanced by constant compromise, letting go, healing. You notice the small difficulties/remove them from your way. By doing so you reaffirm the larger scale. Small difficulties are just distractions in your forward path. This understanding is one of the reasons why relationships are approached differently in the village; its also why in the Dagara language there is no word for divorce.

The Dagra people do not have a specific word for sex. We express the concept of sex in terms of journeying or traveling with someone. You don't want to have sex with that person; you want to go somewhere.

Many of the civilized countries of the world look at the menstruating woman with some discomfort. People ignore the sacredness of menstruation. They do not understand how valuable it is for a woman to have her period. Yet the flow of the menstrual blood carries power. It's a powerful time for the mooning woman. She carries healing energy within her and has a tremendous ability to heal and see into things...

People have a tendency to stay away from emotion, so we disconnect ourselves from what is happening and it becomes superficial. In ritual, if tears are coming, it's okay for tears to be there. If anger is coming, it's important that anger come out. In fact, anger carries in it a healing energy. Only when we let it overtake our being and keep it prisoner does it become destructive.

Being a woman does not mean you have nothing to do with masculine energy. Similarly, being a man does not mean you have nothing to do with the feminine. Vaginas and penises are not the only things that define our sexual nature. Our lives are influenced by the presence within us both feminine and masculine energies. It is important that these energies maintain harmony within us.