~♥*Marianna*♥~’s Reviews > The Blacktongue Thief > Status Update

“And if you believe that, I envy you the life you’ve lived thus far.”

Omg.. I believed that😭😭😭😭
Babbbyyy! Are you ok?? Omg! I’m so sorry!😭😭😭

“And that’s the true story of how on the tenth day of Vintners, I ended up betting my arse on a card game in a sewer under an army of murdering giants at the very top of the wicked world.”

😂😂

“I thought about threatening them with an arrow, but I would have felt nearly as bad about shooting a child as I would have about shooting a dog. Also, the thought of the score or so of them raining busted brickwork at me was manifestly unpromising.”

Nearly??

“You did well against the clay man,” he said. “You’re a good fighter. For your size.”
“But I’ll never be a wizard.”
“No.”
“No for real, or Molrovan no?”
“Yes.”
“Shyte, I hate this place.”

Such a cool idea though! A race of people who only talk in lies and expect you to do the same!

“He and Norrigal shared a look then, like they were both in on some joke just outside my ken.
“You heard me. When I go to the towns, which I used to do on my travels, I find bored wives and make sons in them. It is nothing.”

Damn, this is an impossible conversation to follow. They’re supposed to be lying but I have no idea when they stop or even if they do stop?? Confuuusing

“That single peril had nearly ended me, and for what? So I could follow a surly Ispanthian into giantlands and only then find out why? So I could bounce unlikely grandchildren on my knee and tell them, “You know your grandfather saw a kraken once? That’s right! Stay the fuck on dry land.”

“Except the baron of Cadoth, whose son had died after a cat-bite went sour. Rumor was that the boy had been doing something mean and weird to it—not what you’re thinking, weirder than that—and that nobody deserved an unlucky death more than he.”

Oh no!

“Men love a woman who doesn’t seem to give a damn, so long as she’s handsome. We also love a happy woman, so long as she’s fair, or a sad pretty one, or an angry girleen with a good face. You see how this works.”

“Those statues will be carved from ash or hickory, with generous breasts on the goddesses and unthreatening pillicocks on the gods, except Haros, who will be hung like the stag he is, because everyone knows he screws the moon so hard she has to sink beneath the hills and rest from it.”

Ummm ok

“I was about to die.
Worse, I was about to die with bastards.”