Robert’s Reviews > Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box > Status Update

Why should we care about this stuff? So we can achieve results. When you are selfish you are blind to the outside. Affecting the outward is how you make matters better.

I'm connecting the teaching in this book and the principles taught in 7 Habits. Specifically habits win/win and seek first to understand. Also from How to Win Friends. For example, 1. avoid arguments; 2. You can't win an argument, even if you win you make the other person feel inferior and thus loose; 3. If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically; 4. A drop of honey catches more than a gallon of gall.

"Before he betrayed himself, bud saw nancy, whatever her faults, simply as a person who could use his help. But after he betrayed himself, she seemed very different to him. She didnt seem to deserve help anymore, and bud thought he felt that way because of how she was being. But that wasn't true. The only thing that happened was his own self-betrayal. So buds feelings were lying to him."

when we’re in the box, our view of reality is distorted—we see neither ourselves nor others clearly. We are self-deceived. And that creates all kinds of trouble for the people around us.