Danielle’s Reviews > How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self > Status Update

Coping (soothing but especially enduring) teaches us that we can tolerate discomfort. We previously surrounded ourselves with distractions because on some level we believed that we could not deal with distressing situations. Every time you widen your window of tolerance, you teach yourself that yes, I can get through this. (p. 232).

Believe it or not, there is a “ninety-second rule” of emotions as physiological events, they only last for a minute and a half. Then they come to an end. Our body wants to return to homeostasis.

One of the major achievements of emotional maturity is learning how to be at peace with these misunderstandings or with being misunderstood. This will help you to continue to live your life as your most authentic Self- no matter what the fallout may be- when your opinions, beliefs, and realities are valid- not in relation to anyone else, just because you have them. (p. 227).

“Emotional dumping may not be one-sided. A relationship can be built around emotional dumping as the main form of connection. An example of mutual emotional dumping is when a relationship revolves around a central shared conflict.” (p.190)