Sheri’s Reviews > Iron & Velvet > Status Update

"I yanked the bolt out of the poor bugger's chest, and he snapped upright like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction."

gotta love me some Pulp Fiction!

"His head split open to reveal a soupy mess of mangled rat bodies that were immediately and messily devoured by a new set of mouths that squirmed up from inside the creature's skull. If I didn't have my imminent death to worry about, I'd have been seriously grossed out."

Now, that's just nasty...and I am seriously grossed out "/

"'I appear to be impervious to physical harm. I have no need to eat, sleep or breathe, and I can bring a man to orgasm within thirty seconds.'"

"There was a shimmer of light between the trees and suddenly we were surrounded. Surrounded my ghostly women riding honest-to-God motherfucking unicorns..."

GAH...do you hear that? more unicorns!!!

"A spider slipped from under the collar of his shirt, crawled across his face, & lowered itself off the edge of the sculpture on a long strand of silk. Another ran out from beneath his cuff and did the same. And, eventually his entire body, clothes and all, dissolved into a teaming mass of spiders"

aaannnd the first sex scene....

not what I was expecting...

"'Oh wow,' she cried, 'you've got a card and everything. I'll call you the next time I want something private investigated.' She blew me a kiss and headed back towards the club."

well, then.....

"I gathered the ashes from the floor as best I could, hoping nobody had pissed there recently, and smeared them across my eyelids."

Come again???

"'Kauri's one of Julian's descendants. His philetor is Jasper Glyde, who is Julian's third parastatheis.' My eyes glazed over."

Ohhh good, I don't feel so bad...so did mine :P