Greg S’s Reviews > Fen > Status Update
Greg S
is 9% done
Meh. No descriptions. Sentences fragments for no reason. Vulgar tangents. I get it. I was young and overflowing with energy too.
— Aug 10, 2020 06:02PM
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Greg S
is 9% done
These cuss words really break the verisimilitude. They just don’t fit with the rest of the telling.
— Aug 10, 2020 04:54PM
Greg S
is 9% done
“English men never really said what they were thinking” — hmmmmm.
— Aug 10, 2020 04:11PM
Greg S
is 9% done
“There was nothing in there we needed more than what we would have.” — confusing
— Aug 10, 2020 04:07PM
Greg S
is 8% done
“English was the language of breaking and bending and it would suit our mouths better.” — hah, very melodramatic
— Aug 10, 2020 03:58PM
Greg S
is 8% done
“Men could pretend they were otherwise, could enact the illusion of self-control, but we knew the running stress of their minds.” — weird phrasing?
— Aug 10, 2020 03:57PM