Idea’s Reviews > See What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Violence > Status Update
Idea
is 23% done
Chapter 3. The Abusive Mind has been the hardest to read so far but also the most valuable. It presents a few different models for understanding why abusive behaviour happens. It also objectively presents the limitations of each approach. The hard part of it was accepting how attached I have been to certain easy and shallow interpretations. But finally the book tells me something I didn't know.
— May 04, 2020 07:49AM
Like flag
Idea’s Previous Updates
Idea
is 53% done
I did not like the chapter 'State of Emergency' because it told me nothing new and felt like it was sensationalising extreme cases. But I understand that there's a place for this in a discourse about DV. It's entirely about how the Australian system is inadequate to deal with DV. We know and it's no different, even worse in some other places.
— May 23, 2020 09:00AM
Idea
is 46% done
Just finished the hardest chapter but also the one with biggest revelations to date - the one on Female Violence. My big takeaway is that most violent women are not just hitting, they're hitting back. Also in 'violent resistance' (useful term), women usually take responsibility and violent men usually don't.
Much respect for the clarity & empathy shown by the writer.
— May 20, 2020 09:02AM
Much respect for the clarity & empathy shown by the writer.
Idea
is 40% done
Barely a couple of pages into the chapter on women's violence and I'm already battling my own biases (I use this word in a statistical sense of being inclined in one direction rather than truly objective). It's really hard to, when the narrative has been of a tormented, abused woman victim only and even that has been gaslit for decades. Let's hope the book keeps its objective focus.
— May 20, 2020 04:42AM
Idea
is 39% done
The chapter on children was hard to read. Coming right after two objective chapters that were more about intellectual concepts, this one dropped us right into brutal cases from the most devastating point of view - of children bystanders & victims. It also brought out how kids maybe be double victims because they're forced to intervene or made into shields. So hard.
— May 14, 2020 10:46AM
Idea
is 32% done
The chapter titled 'Patriarchy' has been the easiest to read so far because it echoes the feminist ideas I've been thinking about for years. Yet, it does so with more compassion towards men than most feminist discourse without ever condoning men's abuse of women. That's a huge win for an objective, healthy look at addressing this issue.
— May 12, 2020 09:52AM
Idea
is 27% done
This chapter on shame first made me feel empathy towards the abusers and a ray of hope in tackling this issue.
— May 05, 2020 07:01AM
Idea
is 10% done
I'm not sure the extreme cases (knives, burning of children) should have come up at this time. It makes people think only that is domestic abuse and shut down in shock. It makes it easy to ignore the all the danger signs before that. We all know the brutal, sensational cases. We need to understand the subtler, the disturbing screams in the night, the unidentified thumps from next door.
— Apr 25, 2020 05:15AM
Idea
is 5% done
Abusers are terrified by their victim's independence. Fear motivates their actions & gives them entitlement to abuse.
— Apr 23, 2020 05:49AM
Idea
is 4% done
"Each household, a patriarchy in miniature, complete with its own web of rules or codes, rituals of deference, modes of enforcement, sanctions and forbidden places."
Patriarchy is about giving one individual unequal power over another. It is kept in place by rigid roles and allowed behaviours, divergence from which is punishable severely. So violence is integral to it.
— Apr 23, 2020 03:22AM
Patriarchy is about giving one individual unequal power over another. It is kept in place by rigid roles and allowed behaviours, divergence from which is punishable severely. So violence is integral to it.
