Sean Gibson’s Reviews > The Violinist's Thumb: And Other Lost Tales of Love, War, and Genius, as Written by Our Genetic Code > Status Update

I lament that I have no genetically advantageous mutations that will translate into artistic superstardom (though the nose did come in handy during those high school auditions for the lead in Pinocchio).

In retrospect, perhaps it would have worked out better if the Neanderthals had won.

File under the heading "Things I'm reasonably confident violate the Hippocratic oath": attempting to artificially inseminate a woman with chimpanzee sperm without her knowledge or consent. I think at least 7 out of 10 doctors would say that's frowned upon.

Sometimes DNA can be a real asshole.

I like that DNA can get just as inexplicably tangled up as a pair of headphones you toss in your backpack. Life's little mysteries. C'mon, science--let's conjure up an explanation for that ridiculousness.

I’m miffed that Kean hasn’t yet addressed the origin of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles amidst all this talk of mutation. Missed opportunity; it’s going to cost him at least 4 stars when I rate this.

Oh, an in case you were wondering, turns out salmon sperm is incredibly easy to harvest. Not unlike my ow...no, you know what? I'm not going to finish that statement for the sake of, well, everyone.

I may unarmed, outnumbered, and unprepared, but it's time to match wits once again with Sam Kean. My mind is your fertile garden, Mr. Kean...plow me mercilessly.

(Sometimes I think I have Tobias Funke syndrome.)