René’s Reviews > Travel To the G-Spot -- The Guide Book > Status Update

‘Patients were told, “we don’t have any chloroform available, but here, bite this bullet while we cut your leg off.” An oral surgeon has found traces of tooth enamel, embedded from biting down hard, on some of Harden’s bullets.’

“I doubt any of the Marleys feel sad or second-rate. Their voices are identical to Bob’s. They’re all international music stars in their own right, hugely successful all over the world and multimillionaires to boot, but it doesn’t quite cut it with me. I’m da judge. It’s not good enough. And these are my friends, I can do better, I think, which makes me fear that deep, deep down inside I’m truly an asshole [...]”

“For all her self-indulgent, selfish bullshit, for all her divorces, botox, boob lifts and butt bleach, Extravaganza is devoted to whatever family she’s in at the moment, and this includes all of us.”

I'm touched by the grudging respect we all owe those family members that hold a far-flung family together in spite of monumental differences that have done nothing but increase over time.

“I’ll need to re-use the same filthy gear and clothes from the rainforest, all of it infested with lemon ants and jaguar poop.”

“Just FYI, the full airfare or rack hotel rate you pay subsidizes my free flight in the next seat and my free room next door, you know, the one with the rutting wildebeests keeping you up all night with the squeaking bed and headboard smacking the wall.”

I hate this man.