maddie rambissoon’s Reviews > Love Me Stalk Me > Status Update

both izzy and cal are actually so annoying it’s pissing me off. it could be in part due to switching from the physical book to the audiobook and i literally cannot stand cal’s voice. he sounds like a tiktok voice over!!!!

shitty tattoos on the arms of military men will never get me. i am immune. i know cal’s tattoos are clocks/roses/roman numerals/a singular lion. i know he has basic ass tattoos!! i know it!!!!!!!

shitty tattoos on the arms of bartenders and line cooks? unfortunately that will get my ass every time :/

“chad tells me a sexy bedtime story to make me come every night”

jfc

“i am fully prepared to unalive multiple people in your honor”

baby, you can’t say “kill” there’s no way you are going to murder people <3

“a very important VIP”

what do you mean you are over 6 feet tall and still sleep in a twin bed? HOW?

“she’s italian, for fuck’s sake”

“well, maybe you should rethink your entire presence, then”

an absolute batshit thing to say to someone who YOU ran into!!! look where you’re going!!!!!!!

“pretty girl” is what i call my cat :/

is girlie drinking wine with ice cubes in it? sorry to be a prestigious asshole about it, but i am confused on what bev she is drinking