Kaylee~ > Status Update

my grandparents are slowly dying, and I can see it. I can see people ranting about things that they don't even need to. I have a 90% emotional stability? HELL YEAH, you got that right. But it doesn't last long when people keep shoving me around with crap that doesn't deal with death, or cancer, or law. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

I agree with Cyth... and you... my grandma is in the hospital right now and other things...

Kylie, my shoulder is always available for you, honey. As well as my pens. I'm open for commisions now, so say just say the word, and I'm on it if you need it. I love you.

Thank you... and I don't know.. it's just weird. Everyone thinks that I'm a brick wall, and they can throw everything at me and I'll be perfectly okay. THAT ISNT TRUE. I get bruised and battered. I have trouble believing and seeing. I'm NOT their punching bag, but sure seems like it.

I'm used to being a punching bag, too. I'm used to having shit thrown in my face, to having people think I'm virtually indestructible. First, I either completely ignore them because they're not worth my time, or I stand up for myself and who I am. Second, I find people...or a person...that I love, and I talk it out with them. Tell them what's wrong. And if they're a true friend, they'll listen and comfort you, and they'll make you feel fifty times better than before you talked to them. And just so you know, you ARE NOT a punching bag, and you ARE NOT a brick wall. You have every right as a feeling human being to get hurt and get emotional, but you also have every human right to stick up for yourself no matter what. Get out there and throw some punches of your own, baby.

Avi... if there was a like botton on yours...

Thomas weisman wrote: "... im done with this site"

Yes. Why?

I don't believe we've ever been acquainted, but I'm not certain your absence would ensure Kaylee's emotional stability any more.

Avi Dim Shwatsonlock Shrimp wrote: "I'm used to being a punching bag, too. I'm used to having shit thrown in my face, to having people think I'm virtually indestructible. First, I either completely ignore them because they're not wor..."

My main problem right now is just people. There's a person here, who just got cancer. A person their who could die. There's a person to my left who complains about everything, when nothing is wrong. There's a person below me who knocks me over. There's a person in the far corner, taking the money we need. There's a person in the nearest corner, threatening to take away the next person I love, or could love. There's that..little self conciouss note saying that you can't do it. You can't win, you can't lose. It's just annoying. And it drives me nuts.

Another like! *headdesk* I have one of those people on the left... I was pushed around like that for a bit...

So I'm not like depressed. I'm not sad. I'm not like, omigod feel sorry for me. I'm just pissed. Pissed off because I feel like people can't take me literally.

I can Kaylee... I understand...

I'm usually okay at that... like channeling it so I don't hurt anyone. But I'd happily punch someone in the face. (Except for Larry, because he like... got beat up yesterday. BECAUSE we all had some serious issues to solve. Rachel and her lunch box ideas always make the day better.)

Kaylee, I love you. You're one of the strongest people I know, with beauty to boot, might I add. Things may seem bleak now, but I know you can find it in yourself to make it through the storm. My advice is: Do whatever it takes until you feel at least okay again. I remember when my uncle died. When my mom shut down. I never stopped trying to get her attention, and I never gave up trying to patch things back together again. You can do the same. The tiniest chance you get to fix things up, leap for it. The person with cancer--get as close to them as you possibly can. Enjoy them while they're there. I know it might be painful to look at someone at death's door (trust me, I know)--but you'd rather you spent time with them and loved them rather than shut yourself into your grief. That's one thing you can do. Anyone that could die--cherish them, until they either leave forever or get better. For the person that complains--when you can't take it anymore, give them a cold slap of bitter reality. Tell them they have it a lot better off than some people. Tell them they have no right to be complaining. Knock them into their senses. For the person that knocks you over--I'll be there to catch you and then punch that person in the face for what he did to you. For the person taking your money--do what you can to either save or earn for your family. It'll help. And for that person threatening to take away your loved one--by God, don't let them. I know what it's like to love someone and have someone else threaten to shove them away. DON'T LET THEM. Whatever you do, stay strong, and fight for the person you love. You keep that person, no matter what.

And you can do it. You can do anything. I'm here for you. Always. You're smart, Kaylee. You got this.

Cynthia wrote: "again, what avi said."

>.> I agree with Cynth...

I have to say, there are times where I don't realize how much CRAP people go through besides myself. I've changed my perspective on role models. I've grown up a lot this year. Yeah, I'm still a spaz, and a nutball. But I realize that, it's not just about ME, it's about other people too. I've also taken a lot of time to look at Rachel this past year. She has a huge country family. They're all nutballs. They always have fun together. But you really don't realize how close they all are. Did you here Becca talk about her? The way she talked about her made me start to cry. Seeing Rachel in the hospital, man... that takes guts. What about her? Rachel almost DIED. DIED. She almost left us, she WAS facing the death door. Who am I to say that I've been through hell, when she almost DIED. She fought hard to get where she is now. She's a great example. A great role model. She works her ass off in school, to get those A s, those awesome math grades, to get into a highschool. She's my star. She's my line. She's my goal. There's no person in the WORLD that could touch that girl. She's sweet, funny, and cares for her friends like no other. She knew that her friends needed her. And she knew that God had plans for her. She is a very special child, and I find confidence in that.

Thomas weisman wrote: "leaving this site"

I'm tempted to either comfort you for whatever or punch you, and I don't know which I prefer. Plus we've never been acquainted.

...are you, ah...alright?

She is my little star.

I love Rachel so much. Had she not existed, I'd have lost faith that human beings that beautiful and that angelic existed in the world...She's a great role model.

Thomas weisman wrote: "punch me? ha! I could kill you, so dont even go there. you know where i live? NO. You know who I am? NO. You try anything to me, and I will literally choke you"

Calm down, sir. It was a metaphor, I would never punch anyone. And go ahead. Choke me. I don't mind, get your anger out.

Okay, that's it, you fucktard. I was trying to be civil, even took back my threat, but I can see now just what kind of a person you are. The only reason I flipped off on you was because I LOVE KAYLEE. And I cannot stand people like you who sit down on their FUCKING COMPUTER SCREENS trying to hate on people who love them.

And just so you know: I'm sure you're going through a lot right now. I'm sure you've got a whole shitload of crap on your shoulders. That's no reason to be an asshole to other people that have crap on their shoulders too. I don't go around prancing about hating on others because my life sucks, so don't you dare do the same.

And with you, I lose faith in all humanity. Thanks.

Guys... you should stop... you may upset Kaylee even more...

Says the person that's hating on someone who did nothing but love you.That, dear, is true evil.

And yes. I am a slut. I am a whore. I am a bitch, and the fucking DEVIL created me. Didn't you know?

........you're both right. I got.......caught up.

...Sorry, Thomas. I'm gonna shut my slutty mouth now, but my opinion stands its ground.

Sorry guys, I was a jerk. Headed off now.

Thanks a lot guys.... don't fight. I hate it. You all know I love you. I know you're going through a load of crap right now, but my friend absolutely did NOT deserve to be called ANY of that. I've heard my sister be called those things before by her own HUSBAND. Please don't say that. Don't do it. Thanks... now I'm sobbing. Thanks a lot. And I promised Clari I would stay on, but I don't know about that anymore.

*hugs Kaylee* Sorry...

*hangs head in shame*

Sorry, Kyles......I love you, and I guess.....I just got carried away.

Hey man........uh. I shouldn't have said that crap to you, whether it was you or not. I was just kind of pissed...about...things..........um. Yeah. So......uh. Sorry. I initiated the blow and called you out, so....um. Pact?

I'm so freaking confused.. I'm still sobbing because I don;t understand....

O.O Sorry Kaylee..

Kaylee, you don't deserve this crap. Thomas...we ain't buyin' it. THATS IT. That's all I'm saying, I'm sorry if I made things worse!! -_- I love you Kaylee <3

If I had a funcking magic wand, I could do so many great things! If I had a chance to make one wish.. I know what it would be! I can't do anything to help u, besides be here for u and with u... So here!! Do what u wish to me... I've heard it all before!!!!!

Thomas weisman wrote: "Everyone on this status I respect everything about you. I am the most Mature Kid I know, and I have not once Cussed anyone out, say things like this hacker did to Avi, I would never ever do that! I..."

It's fine..............I mean, I didn't even know you and I threatened to punch you. I guess that goes to show how much patience I have...and I hate hackers. A lot, actually. You don't have to apologize, it wasn't your fault. I on the other hand........was a jerk. So yeah.

If it makes u feel any better, now I'm crying

Thomas weisman wrote: "Everyone who is apologizing, I should be saying sorry. I was foolish enough to let her ruin my life once again, Slytherin, who i presumed to be a good friend of mine, doesnt believe me that I would..."

You're fine, bro. Calm yourself. I channel my emotions inwards so I try to hurt no one but myself. I just snapped tonight. I know you've got crap in your life, and I shouldn't have blown up in your face....sorry.

It's because we've all been lied to so many times... especially from people we loved.

Everyone has a heart. There are people who don't though...






and brb.

Thomas weisman wrote: "Im calm...its just, how could it be fine when someone important to me doesnt believe me?"

I'm taking a risk by placing my complete and utter faith in you, by believing that you didn't say any of those things. I'm going to believe you because I don't know you, and I hope it's a decision I don't live to regret.

And because I seem to be dishing out advice today, if you didn't do it and you know you didn't do it, talk it out with the person. If they know you and are your true friend, they'll understand and believe you regardless. If they don't...well, keep trying. They'll come to their senses if you're telling the truth. Tell them your side of the story and give them reasons and evidence. You seem like a sensible young man, so be sensible. And if you care about what happened tonight, then yes, you do have a heart.

Dr. Phil out.

Yeah... I don't think I'll be going to bed for a while. I stopped writing my paper for this.

.....sorry.......

No, I have to stay up for Clari.

doesn't everyone have a person to f up their life? I know one, or two.

haha not really. I always go to bed at midnight during the week.

Well, I have to have MooCow... so no biggie... I HAVE to have something next to me. It's like... a law.

*glares at Madison* That one comment that one time about it was SO random and uncalled for.

Look I don't even remember that... I'm sorry man!!

> . < no about that I ALWAYS have to be sleeping with something.

Dude, it was SO funny though! And I was totally embarassed! That's why I remember it so well.

I did NOT lie to you. I swear on the living Bible. I don't LIE. I don't know what my heart says. It just works for the time being. I DO LOVE YOU! I promised I would meet you in person, and that is a promise that I will NOT break. I swore upon it to all my friends, to all my family that I haven't met that don't live in freaking Indy. I LOVE YOU FOR GOD'S SAKE~ I know you're trying to convince me to come back to you, but I really just need my time. I need to think. I need to write. I need to pray. I know, I freaking love you.

I'm sorry, alright? I do love you, I know I broke your heart, and I broke mine too.

DONT FUCKING DO IT!! I DIDNT WANT TO FREAKING BREAK YOUR HEART! I DIDNT EVEN WANT TO BREAK MY OWN, BUT I HAD TO! I NEEDED TO! IVE BEEN ASKING GOD WHAT IN HELL IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO RIGHT NOW, AND THAT IS TO START OVER. I HAVE TO. I NEED TO. ITS WHATS PLANNED. I NEED YOU TO FREAKING UNDERSTAND THAT.

And time ticks, Kaylee~ wrote: "my grandparents are slowly dying, and I can see it. I can see people ranting about things that they don't even need to. I have a 90% emotional stability? HELL YEAH, you got that right. But it doesn..."

I know how you feel baby. Thats what it was like when my best friend passed away with brain cancer and leukimia and then my other best friend commited suicide....I died inside. I know how you feel. And I am here for you! *hugs*