Bea’s Reviews > Famesick > Status Update
Bea
is 61% done
1/ “And so I stopped, then and there, and gave up. I lay down and I didn’t get up, really, for a very long time. In the quiet of that room, in the isolation of the aftermath, I did not decide to kill myself, but I did think it was time to die. That distinction may not make sense to everyone, but it will make sense to a lot of people. I was not going to take the decisive action to end my life. But I was going to
— 3 hours, 53 min ago
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Bea’s Previous Updates
Bea
is 61% done
3/3 “worn-out body—and therefore my worn-out, overused, threadbare name—to sleep forever. To spare others the exhausting loop of reacting to reactions to me, to rid their lives of this disquiet. It was time, I thought. Certainly, it was time.”
— 3 hours, 50 min ago
Bea
is 61% done
2/ “cease fighting to survive by avoiding food, by drinking almost no water, through the carelessness of mixing pills, and by acting—for all intents and purposes—like I was dead already. This could be perceived as self-involved, dramatic, as making my own pain central to someone else’s story, or it could be perceived as what it was: a wish, not quite conscious because nothing was, to cease to exist, to put my
— 3 hours, 50 min ago
Bea
is 60% done
2/2 “Everything that had come before was child’s play, either because it was false, or because it was ultimately silly, or because it didn’t really affect anyone deeply—since we know affecting people and irritating them just enough to get them to tweet are really not the same thing.”
— 3 hours, 54 min ago
Bea
is 60% done
1/2 “That’s why what happened next is so confusing. That at this moment, when I was not here, not there, not anywhere, when I had ostensibly died inside my own body, I would do the one thing in my career, in my life, about which I felt—feel, still—genuine shame.
— 3 hours, 54 min ago
Bea
is 59% done
“Pain, by its very nature, is personal—it’s one of the few human experiences that is in no way collective. We have no ability to feel another person’s pain. We can imagine it. We can empathize with it. We can look at their wounds and listen to their words. But we can’t know how it feels to be inside their body.”
— 3 hours, 56 min ago
Bea
is 58% done
2/2 “It had different shapes and versions. But it was always with me. I was tethered to it like a smoker to their pack, mollusks to a whale, a mother to their baby.”
— 3 hours, 57 min ago
Bea
is 58% done
1/2 “And through it all, the pain was there, like that friend with a borderline personality who you’re convinced you can control until it becomes clear she’s going to do to you what she’s done to all the others. There was no moment of any hour of any day where I did not feel pain. It assumed different forms and different levels of intensity.
— 3 hours, 57 min ago
Bea
is 49% done
2/2 “Transitions. Exits. Patterns. The shiny, curved buildings of this soulless and ahistoric neighborhood reflected the searing orange sun as it disappeared for the night, replaced with the flickering blue of a thousand flat-screen HDTVs.”
— 3 hours, 58 min ago
Bea
is 49% done
1/2 “There was another bed—her real bed, her life bed—beside the hospital bed, and I lay down, close enough so that I could curl my body against hers and take her cooling hand in mine. The high from the pills was just starting to hit, and it made the night falling—a normal occurrence and one I ignored daily—take on a symbolic magic.
— 3 hours, 58 min ago
Bea
is 48% done
“Why did the modern world ask that every artist be a businessperson and every woman be a mogul?”
— Jun 10, 2026 09:37AM
