౨ৎ Iris ౨ৎ’s Reviews > Yours Truly > Status Update

I’d thought long and hard about what I wanted to say. And what I’d come up with felt exactly right.

I looked her in the eye. “Briana, I agree to be harmless to you.”

She smiled, because she knew that was all of it. It was the only promise she needed to hear.

It was her turn. She gave me a wry grin. “Jacob, I agree to be harmless to you.”
....
AWWWW MY HEARTTTTTT

…Seeing her so happy when she heard the news made everything I’ll go through worth it for that one moment alone…
.
…I feel my heart twisting around her in a way that is completely out of my control and can never be undone. I can’t put it away and I can’t unknow it and I can’t slow it down. I don’t even want to…
.

…Seeing her so happy when she heard the news made everything I’ll go through worth it for that one moment alone…
.
…I feel my heart twisting around her in a way that is completely out of my control and can never be undone. I can’t put it away and I can’t unknow it and I can’t slow it down. I don’t even want to…
.

…Seeing her so happy when she heard the news made everything I’ll go through worth it for that one moment alone…
.
…I feel my heart twisting around her in a way that is completely out of my control and can never be undone. I can’t put it away and I can’t unknow it and I can’t slow it down. I don’t even want to…
.

Amy and Jeremiah were making some sort of announcement. I was in a fish tank.

I could see Amy’s mouth moving. “We’re having a baby.”

And then I was conscious of everyone’s eyes darting to me and I said the only thing I could think of saying because I had to get the hell out of there. “In this economy?”

Then I fled from the room while I could still make my legs carry me.
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kill me NOW

omfg bri is pissing me off so bad

I cleared my throat. “This is my girlfriend,” I managed.

“I know!” Amy said, a little too brightly. “They told us you had one. We couldn’t believe it.”

I don’t think she meant it to come out like that, but it did. I felt Briana tense next to me.

“I know what you mean,” Briana said curtly. “When Jacob told me what this party was for, I couldn’t believe that either.”
...
I. love. her.

“I always think that when we’re quiet, we’re agreeing to be harmless to each other. That we’re just sharing the same space and letting each other exist exactly as we are, and neither of us would hurt or upset the other one.”

I was going to do anything he needed to make this fake-girlfriend thing work. I was about to put on an Oscar-worthy performance the likes of which Hollywood has never seen. I was so committed I would tattoo his name across my boob. Pose for fake engagement photos if he wanted them. Hell, I’d fake a damn wedding.
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I'M DYING OMFG

Lieutenant Dan was a rescue with behavioral problems, and I grew up with a parrot. A thirty-year-old African gray named Jafar. He’s a bit of a jerk. He knocks things over and then blames the cat. He also likes the word (and you’re going to have to excuse the language here) “motherfucker,” so sometimes we’re treated to the sound of shattering glass followed by “The cat did it, motherfucker!”
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IM DYING LMFAOOOOOOOOO