Gaurav Sagar’s Reviews > Jakob von Gunten > Status Update

Bare reality: what a crook it sometimes is. It steals things, and afterwards it has no idea what to do with them. It just seems to spread sorrow for fun. Of course, I like sorrow very much as well, it's very valuable, very. It shpaes one.

They're all alike in their rapid kindness, which just comes and goes, and I think this is because of the fear these people feel.

One day I shall be laid low by a stroke, and then everything, all these confusions, this longing, this unknowing, all this, the gratitude and in-gratitude, this telling lies and self deception, this thinking that one knows and yet never knowing anything, will come to an end. But I want to live, no matter how.

I would be attracted by deep things and by the soul, rather than by distances and things far off.

Something great and audacious must happen in secrecy and silence, or perishes and falls away, and the fire that was awakened dies again.

My desire for experiences is growing into a domineering passion, and the pain which this strange man's annoyance causes me is small in comparison with my trembling wish to lead him into saying something a little revealing.

Pain at the dreadfulness of what I had done chased me out of bed. I had seized the holy one by her respect-arousing hair and had thrown her to the ground. Oh, not to think of such things. The tears shot like sharp jets from the motherly eyes.

What is the use of thoughts and ideas if one feels, as I do, that one doesn't know what to do with them?

Yes, I think of Mamma. She will be crying. Why don't I ever write to her ? I can't tell why, can't understand it, and yet I can't decide to write. That's it: I don't want to tell anything. It's too silly. A pity, I shouldn't have parents who love me. I don't want to be desired at all. They will have to get used to not having a son any more.

Generally, we pupils do not like to laugh, that is to say, we are hardly able to any more. We lack the requisite jolliness and airiness. Am I wrong? God knows, sometimes my whole stay here seems like an incomprehensible dream.