Madeline’s Reviews > It Begins with You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life > Status Update

“Those words your mother said to you had so much impact, they practically shaped who you are, Gabriella. But our job as adults is to investigate the meaning behind the words that impact us so that maybe we can stop taking them so literally. We have to understand the context that surrounds them.”

“Grief and struggle are part of the human condition, but we can learn to save ourselves when we pursue fulfillment instead of happiness.”

Exercise for the <3

Lifting weights: for feeling grounded and strong

Yoga: for letting go of stuck emotion, ease on your joints, increasing focus

Hiking or walking: for creativity & calming an overactive mind or nervous system

Stretching and deep breaths: overall health

“When we are in balance, we are at peace and when we’re at peace, we are not searching for happiness in a relationship, money, food, drugs, or anything we can purchase. We learn that what we want to feel comes from within. We just have to remove all the muck of our overactive minds to access it.”

“We want, and often expect, to be loved even when we’re not being loving to our partner. Ultimately, we expect that the love of a partner will solve all of our existential crises or at least make us forget that they exist.”

After the honeymoon stage ends, the job we don’t like is still there, the traumas we carry still exist, the family relationship strains/fractures continue, etc.

Good point on how we can never count on love to “save us” from our lives. We have to work within ourselves to find joy, meaning, peace, etc. separate from others and within ourselves.

Truth 8: No one is coming to save you

“We can’t depend on someone else to make us happy all the time. When we depend on another flawed human being to make us happy, our dependence will paradoxically lead to unhappiness. Another person, no matter how well suited for us, can’t possibly make us feel secure and happy all the time and once we realize the other person’s limitations, we will be crushed by the weight of our failed expectations.”

“It is not your job to convince someone to love you or commit to you. Your only job is to communicate, leading with truth and vulnerability.”

“An uncomfortable truth is that we have to want to heal. We have to be willing to reach deep within ourselves and touch the parts that are strong, determined, and certain.”

Describe yourself in a relationship: how do you want to show up, love, behave, and feel?

What do you do when you feel under appreciated/unloved?

How has your ego gotten in the way of your former/current relationship(s)?

In what ways have you taken the person you love for granted?