✨CynicalLuminary;✨’s Reviews > The Count of Monte Cristo > Status Update

I feel like Frodo when he arrives on top of that stupid volcano, it is d o n e. My god, to read a book of this g i r t h and realize on like page 900+ that you're kind of starting to hate it sucks sooo bad aaaaahhhh.

IM TIRED OF THIS, GRANDPA!!!!!!!

My entire perspective on this book has just so thouroughly shifted as it has bestowed upon me the knowledge that EVERY MAN IS ABOUT 5'3 ft TALL. Never would I have thunk to read my own height be described as tall for a man, oh my god #justicefornapoleon, he was an average height for his time period.

If french high society really was like that back then, I would have hung myself so very quickly oh my god can we STOP FOPPING ABOUT PLEASE. I DONT NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOUR SplENdId CIGARS CAME FROM IN GREAT DETAIL.

Slaps really hard, cant get over the fact that Dumas wants to sell me that Dantés didnt turn into an absolute ghoul during his fourteen years in prison while on his broth and bread diet, he ACTSHUALLY just got paler and buff. From digging a tunnel with his soup laddle, I guess.

I see now why this has 1200+ pages.