Autumn (Matching With Arin) Think Woolly Thoughts > Status Update

Did you know Alfred Nobel got to read his own obituary? When his brother died, a French newspaper mistakenly published an obituary for Alfred Nobel instead of Ludvig Nobel. This gave him the opportunity to read how he would be remembered, and he was horrified. He was portrayed as a man that made it possible to kill more people more quickly than anyone else. Nobel decided he wanted to change his legacy, so he developed the Nobel prize. He wanted others’ good in the world to counteract the bad he created. I want that. Well, not to do the bad first, but to do something good. Something Nobel Prize worthy, even. That’s why this presentation has to be perfect. Why I have to be perfect.

I sigh and sip my white chocolate peppermint hot cocoa. The whipped cream is extra thick, just the way I like it. I go through my slides one more time, just to make sure everything is perfect. It is, of course, but this one has to be extra perfect. If I nail this, maybe I can contradict my reputation and show everyone I’m more than just the girl who got expelled. Charlotte Elizabeth Bennett! I tell myself, you can’t think that way! You can’t put that much pressure on yourself! I sigh and reach down to give Edgar a scratch. He purrs and curls up around my feet. I relax a little and go back to drafting my script for my notecards. Just as I’m getting into a rhythm, the bell in the shop jingled. I shake my head. I can’t let some friendly patron of the cafe distract me from this if I want to get into Briarwood. I adjust my glasses and focus back in when I smell it. Vanilla and cinnamon, which could only mean one thing. “Hello, Beckett,” I sigh as he slides into the seat across from me. He leaned back casually, like he didn’t have a care in the world. Actually, he may literally not have a care in the world. Nothing ever goes wrong for guys like him. Once upon a time, I thought that was a good thing. That being near a person like that would mean that I would be treated the same way. Unfortunately, I wasn’t so lucky. All I got was heartbreak.

“Hey Lizzie,” he says, tossing his hair back like he’s a model and I would faint at the sight of him, “I’ve been thinking…”

“That’s dangerous.” I mutter.

He pretends not to hear me. “We were great together, weren’t we? Why did we let it end?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you used me to get answers for your homework and then dropped me like a fly once the semester was over?”

“Oh, come on Liz! That was all one big misunderstanding! My English term paper was due, I was stressed, and I snapped. That doesn’t mean we had to end!” He leaned in closer, as if his cologne would somehow charm me instead of making me want to throw up. “We can fix this! It’s like that one song from that one play you like so much! You’re perfect, I’m perfect, so we’re perfect together!”

“Okay, first of all “that one play” is a musical, not a play. And it’s literally WICKED, the most iconic musical in the history of musicals! Well, except for maybe Hamilton, but that’s besides the point!”
“Yeah, yeah sure, Evil.”

“WICKED!”

“Of course! What I’m saying is everyone knows that we’re iconic together. You’re smart, pretty, and quiet, and I’m… well… me!”

Quiet. I internalize. He likes me because I’m some quiet little wallflower who was too afraid that speaking her mind would ruin what we had. And I could never, ever let something like that happen again.

And yet… the rest of his compliments bring a little flutter to my chest. My heart betrays me. He hurt you! I remind myself. He’s the reason you stopped watching Xander play! Yet here I am yet again, feeling the same way I did when he used to bring me dandelions because I wanted to make a wish. I scold myself. I’m pathetic.

“Lizzie? You okay?”

I realize that I’ve been staring at him for, like, 30 seconds. I feel my cheeks flush. “Yeah, I’m fine, sorry.”

He winks. “Don’t be. Why don’t we hang out tonight? We could watch The Greatest Showman! I won’t even get mad if you sing along!”

For some reason, the thoughtfulness of him remembering one of my favorite movie-musicals has got me reconsidering. It would be nice to decompress and sing for a little while… No, Lottie, you have this presentation due, plus we agreed to never go out with Beckett again.

Beckett is so oblivious that he thinks my hesitation is me playing hard to get. Of course he does. “C’mon Liz! It’s a Hugh Jackman musical! You love those!”

I actually prefer Lin Manuel-Miranda, and I start to say so, but then I realize I’ve been thinking about this for way too long. Just say now, Lottie. It’s not that hard; it’s literally one syllable!

The bell jingles again. I sigh in relief and look up to see whoever my knight-in-shining armour is.

A boy. He has light brown hair with a slight golden touch when the sunlight caught it just right and sparkling green eyes. He felt familiar somehow, but I couldn’t place him. He strode over to me, head held high.

“Hey, Lottie. We’re still on for tonight, right?”
I blink at him because I don’t even know who he is, so I have no clue what he’s talking about. “Uh… what?”

He rolls his eyes, but it doesn’t feel mean. In fact, it’s endearing. “Trivia night? At Red’s?”

How on Earth does he know about Red’s? I wonder. I’ve never seen him there before. I tilt my head to look at him from another angle, but as familiar as he seems, I still can’t put my finger on exactly where I’ve seen him. I hear Beckett huff. I know exactly why he’s angry. Because someone took his little spotlight away. Why was I ever going to go out with him again? I turn back to Mystery Boy and smile. “Oh! Right, of course! We’re absolutely still on! Wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

Mystery Boy grins and says “Great! We can’t break our winning streak now! Make sure you wear your lucky Converse!”

He spins on his heel and starts to walk away until I blurt, “Wait! Do you mind… walking me to the bus stop? You know how my mom is!”

“Of course!” he says without hesitation. He helps me pack up my stuff and falls into step with me until our footsteps are perfectly synchronized. I wait until we turn the corner and then say, “Thank you for that. I was about to make a horrible decision just then, and you… well, you saved me a lot more heartbreak.”


He smiles. “No problem. I’m always happy to help. The look on that jerk’s face when you walked away from him? Priceless.”

I have to laugh. “I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve ever seen Beckett Brooks at a loss for words. He’s definitely going to be watching out for us at… Wait. What if he actually goes to Red’s and doesn’t see us there? Then he’ll know we were lying and tell Ginger and Vivian and then they’ll hate me, and then I’ll have no friends and be a loner at school and…”

“Lottie!” Mystery Boy’s voice snaps me out of my trance. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll just have to go to Red’s and actually play trivia.”

Did-did he just ask me out? My cheeks flush and suddenly my sweater feels a little too tight.

He notices my fidgeting and gives me a reassuring smile. “As friends, of course.”

“Oh. Uhm, right… sure; it’s not like we have a choice.” Why did I say that? Now he thinks I don’t want to go! “I didn’t mean that rude by the way, I’m sorry. It was just unexpected, that’s all.”

“It’s fine; I probably should have figured out some way to signal my plan before I just jumped in and interrupted you. You just looked so uncomfortable.”
“I was; thank you for rescuing me.”

“You’re welcome.”

We stand there in awkward silence until the bus finally pulls up.

Mystery Boy fidgets nervously. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tonight?”

I manage a nervous laugh. “Guess so.” The bus driver huffs impatiently, so I hop on and the driver speeds away. The last thing I hear Mystery Boy say before I slump into my seat is “Don’t forget the Converse!”

I smile in spite of myself and lean my head against the bus window. “When He Sees Me” from Waitress blares in my earbuds and I consider what just happened. A random boy just swooped in and saved me from going back to my toxic ex and just so happened to invite me to my favorite event in all of Millstone. He remembered, no, knew about my lucky Converse, and seemed so familiar, yet I can’t place him. I don’t know his name, what grade he’s in, or if he even goes to my school. I’ve never seen him at Red’s before. He’s never sat beside me at my usual booth and debated over final answers. Never spent hours working on a group project with me. Never laughed with me or been to my house. And yet he knows everything. I should be scared that he’s a stalker or something, but there was just something about him that made me feel safe. It was almost nostalgic. Like I’d known him before in a past life. I watch the town whoosh by me in a blur and try to recognize some kind of a pattern. People don’t just know things like that. I don’t think Mystery Boy is a stranger. I think he’s a long-suppressed memory just waiting to be remembered.

I know it's a lot lol