Thursday Next > Status Update

It’s 11:11, but there’s nothing happy about it today.

You say all these things, but then end it with Open Arms.

Which means none if it means anything.
You’re just leaving.

So, do what you need to do, I guess.
I release you.

It’s safer alone than constantly getting yanked around.

Also, that was a typo last night
I meant to say “nervous” rather than “Barbie”.

I'm feeling tired and silent and despondent,
and so I will now be going to go back to contemplating how l could waste so many years of my life trying to get you to want to date me and be with me.

I don’t understand why you’re ⬆️1️⃣

sigh
Can you tell me about Futile Devices and Mystery of Love?

The latter seems to be convinced that this love is over.

I don’t want that, but I don’t want to feel yanked around on a daily basis.
And I don’t want to feel like I have to constantly be questioning whether or not you’re enamored with someone else.

I probably overreacted to Open Arms earlier.

But it’s a pretty clear message, and it hurt.

Like I said, it felt as though it negated anything that came before it — anything indicating hope, or attachment, or intentions of continuing to try.

If you tell me in that way,
that you want and need and intend to leave, what more is there for me to do?

I’m not going to ignore or disregard your stated need to get away from me (because that’s how the song concludes).

I’m used to you wanting and needing and choosing to get away from me.

You’ve been doing it for decades.


Trying to force my presence upon you just harms us both.

And after all that time, I still do not understand how I am both what you do not want near you and what you claim to want more than anything.

It’s 11:11

(for whatever that may be worth)

But it’s Friday night, so partying is probably keeping you plenty busy.

(Enjoy.)

ttyl