ally douglas?’s Reviews > Game Changer > Status Update

Scott had never been high in his life, but he imagined it had to feel something like this. The onslaught on his senses of swirling lights and pounding bass, the sweltering heat of the club, and the strong scent of sweat and dry ice filling his head. The dulling effect of the alcohol, smudging his thoughts and giving him a feeling of relaxed euphoria.

“Scott is my...friend,” Kip said, “if you’re wondering why he’s here.”

“Actually,” Scott said, “I’m his boyfriend.”

No. Scott was sure that he wasn’t. But he felt like he was. All the time. It was a lonely, horrible feeling. And those other secretly gay players must be feeling it too.

Maybe he could change all that. Maybe he could make it easier for them, as well as for himself.

cue ilya and shane

He let himself look at Kip’s sexy grin for a minute, enjoying the warmth that flooded him every time he saw it. Then he pocketed the phone and went back to pretending that part of his life didn’t exist.

Scott nodded, possibly a little frantically. He wanted to undo whatever was happening here. “It was too much. I get it now. I do. This relationship probably seems a little...unbalanced to you. But you give me so much, Kip. I love you. I love you and I know I rush into things, and I know I’m probably being way too intense about us, but please. Just know it’s only because I care about you so much.”

“I’m not—I’m not a charity. I’ve got a normal student loan to pay off—the same kind that millions of other people have. I’ve been managing just fine since I graduated. Maybe my job isn’t impressive, and I live with my parents, but I have my fucking pride. And I was paying the loan off on my own every month before you just...just scribbled on a fucking piece of paper and shoved it in a birthday card and—”

i hate the hotel room trope stop it i get so much anxiety do not do this please

Scott didn’t reply. Kip turned off the television and flopped over onto his side on the couch. He kind of wanted to get drunk, but that was a terrible idea.

He loved Scott so much.

How could he ever be good enough for him?

He was feeling really fucking low. And Scott wasn’t texting him back. And maybe Scott was realizing right now that he could be dating, like, a gay movie star or something.

holy anxiety