Ashton Zaloudek-Hager’s Reviews > Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal > Status Update
 
  
    
      Ashton Zaloudek-Hager
      is on page 395 of 464
    
    
    
      Gosh damnit, Martha! There’s 45 pages left, we don’t have time for your bullshit!!
    
    
      — Oct 27, 2025 09:59AM
    
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Ashton Zaloudek-Hager’s Previous Updates
 
  
    
      Ashton Zaloudek-Hager
      is on page 241 of 464
    
    
    
      Tarantulas has been mentioned again… multiple times. 
I would’ve let the f*cking thing die, too, Cole.
Fook. That.
    
      — Oct 26, 2025 08:21PM
    
  I would’ve let the f*cking thing die, too, Cole.
Fook. That.
 
  
    
      Ashton Zaloudek-Hager
      is on page 210 of 464
    
    
    
      Still no further mention of the pet tarantula 👏🏻
    
    
      — Oct 26, 2025 02:19PM
    
   
  
    
      Ashton Zaloudek-Hager
      is on page 139 of 464
    
    
    
      Update: No further mentions of the tarantula at this time.
    
    
      — Oct 25, 2025 08:27PM
    
   
  
    
      Ashton Zaloudek-Hager
      is on page 40 of 464
    
    
    
      this is a Christmas book. WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A PET TARANTULA?!!!!
    
    
      — Oct 25, 2025 08:21AM
    
  

