Atiyeh’s Reviews > Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries & Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy > Status Update

Once you free yourself from EI relationship patterns that held you back, you may regret trying so hard with people who gave so little in return and hurt you so much. As you become more aware of your worth and capacity for love, it may pain you to realize how poorly you were treated.

Don’t reward regressive behavior

Don’t reward regressive behavior

Accept only as much as you want

Set boundaries and say no

At the same time, you talk about your intentions in a way that doesn’t challenge their worth. By responding nondefensively, you don’t trigger an aggressorvictim drama triangle. You make the other person feel like it’s safe to keep communicating.

Nondefensive, nonviolent communication keeps you out of the polarizing aggressor-victim positions of the drama triangle. You recognize that the other person’s viewpoint makes perfect sense to them. At the same time, you talk about your intentions in a way that doesn’t challenge their worth.

Productive communication styles are honest, nonjudgmental, neutral in tone, and empathetic to the other person’s viewpoint.

Your self-expression demonstrates your equal status. When you speak up, you’re showing equal status to the other person. By expressing yourself, you are saying that what goes on inside you is just as important as what goes on inside the EIP. Thus, you don’t let EI hierarchies form.

By being transparent about your inner experience, you participate honestly in the relationship and let yourself be known. Things immediately get more real between you.