Telthor’s Reviews > 15 Secrets to Survival > Status Update

oh gods buried alive tropes oh gods i was not emotionally prepared for this ohhhh no thank you no no no no

The improbabilities of escaping a moose mostly unscathed were silly enough.

Avalanche?!?!? Come onnn.

A child almost died, one has burns all over her wrists, another has scratched up ankles, and you're going to take an infant out into the snow again AS IT'S GETTING LATE.

I retract the good feeling I was starting to have toward you, book.

Oh a twelve year old ain't out running a moose.

There's a lot of book left. We must be narrated by a ghost, after this chapter. That kid is toast.

I'm much happier now that there isn't a toddler being dragged around in the snow.

Still jail for uncle for a thousand years, but he's probably lying frostbitten in a ditch somewhere, so we take those wins.

Oh, he's so not coming back. Scratch what nice things I said. Child abuse jail for life for old man.

He probably fell down the aforementioned cliff and he's dead somewhere in a ditch.

Well, at least he's picking up the baby and telling them to stop doing acrobatics across open cliffs.

He's still ferociously irresponsible, but maybe he won't get life in prison for child abuse, just a lot of community volunteerism.

He left an infant in a shed in the snow.

Can't wait to see what else zany great uncle gets up to before he gets arrested for child abuse

this is AWFUL.

he's threatening Baxter with the apparent frostbitten death of his near infant sister somewhere in the forest, so these twelve year olds are about to go racing off into the SNOW with no idea what they're about. This isn't survival lessons, this is sadism. What is thiiiis.

They're leaving a near infant in the woods in Montana while they go on a cruise to Aruba, after a moose nearly gored a child and tried to break down a cabin door? Man, some people really should not be parents.