average human’s Reviews > Flourishing Heart > Status Update

He was comfortably slumped on the couch, his legs parted out wide, holding a relaxed aura.
“You want to dance?” Lucas wiggled his eyebrows at me. His pupils now were fully blown as the halo of blue was around it. I shook my head with a smile, I knew what he was trying to do, and I was right as he pouted playfully.
“Maybe when we get back?” He asked huskily, pulling me closer as he nibbled my neck. It tickled, making me laugh as I tried to push him away, but it only made him more determined.
But Lucas suddenly stiffened, his muscles tensed while his lips on my neck halted but he tried to cover it when he pulled back, coughing.
“I’m going to head to the toilet. You stay here, okay? I’ll be right back” He spoke suddenly, giving me a stern look making me nod, “You stay here.”
I rolled my eyes, “I won’t move.”
Lucas nodded, happy with my words and he swaggered away. He quickly got lost in the crowd, swallowing him from my view.
I had grown comfortable with Lucas by my side and was now starting to get a little anxious when he was gone. But no one approached me, I was left happily alone. It gave me an opportunity to watch people as they cheered and applauded. Their happiness brought a smile as I sipped my water bottle.
Ten minutes went by, I was starting to get worried Lucas hadn’t come back yet. But with the number of people, I was sure there was a queue to the toilet. Perhaps Lucas went to another bathroom in this house. He seemed to know the house layout.
It was then I felt a twinge.
It was subtle at first, like the start of a heart burn but as I went to take a deep breath, my chest contracted. A wash of heat hit me, washing down like an ache of pleasure. It bubbled through me, causing me to gasp out loud when it hit my core. A few looks came my way from my gasp but I couldn't focus on them. My body was heating up with pleasure as another wave came through me. Sending tingles and sharp pleasurable prickles, all making their way downwards.
What was happening?
My cheeks bloomed with heat as another wave flushed over me making my shoulders curl. The need to allow this desire to take over was just there along with touching myself. But my hands gripped the fabric of the sofa, stopping me from what I was aching to do.
I was burning. I was aching. Craving need with the pressure of desire. My own clothing felt restricting. My skin felt tight as a moan crept out of my throat.
I was confused at why my body was suddenly acting this way. It was like I had no control.
My mind went to Lucas, who hadn’t come back yet. A deep dread dropped down in my stomach.
It wasn’t my pleasure. It was Lucas'.
I was in between the hot anger I felt for Lucas and humiliation while another side of me relished in this feeling. It was addicting. I shook my head, trying to clear it while a confusing sense of shame of my own body’s reaction hit me.
Stories of Apollo’s history came back to me like a tidal wave. He was with someone now, while I was waiting for him.
Taking a deep breath and ignoring the tears of frustration burning at the corners of my eyes. I felt the bond between us. It was open, pulsing with life and harmony.
I moaned out a sob. I was so stupid.
His words from before were utter lies.
He was making me feel like this. This humiliation.
I had no control when my core pulsed. It gave a longing sting like it was punishing me. It throbbed, making my body tremble uncontrollably.
Cursing out loud, I dragged myself up from the couch.
My anger and jealousy was new, but I dived into the green molten lava. I stormed through the crowd. Following my instincts, I knew he was upstairs. I stumbled on one of the stairs, groaning as a hot flush flew through my body with pleasure. I panted through the waves.
I had no control over my tear as they openly poured down my face. My chest felt strange, but my heart felt pain, struggling to breathe, constricting. I was trembling from the anger now.
Didn’t he feel that I knew of his betrayal?
No, I thought, the pleasure was drowning it out.
Swallowing gasps of air, I tried to see through the spots in my vision before I made my way up. Ignoring the loss of desire. I couldn’t stop and think of my inner feelings not while my anger toward Lucas was so up front.
I couldn’t stop swallowing as the bile of nausea threatened to spew. My legs wobbled when I continued to walk down the corridor. I felt weak, not really seeing the people. I just allowed my legs to pull me towards Lucas.
I stopped at the door, knowing Lucas was inside.
Did I want to see him snuggling up to another? Kissing, saying those sweet words he spoke to me?
Sniffing, I wiped my face before opening the door.
I was in a daze, time feeling slow. I expected to see another with him, but my heart sank as Lucas was pulling his shirt back on. But I caught the marks, bites, around his chest. His eyes zoomed in on me and gave a loud curse, hurrying to get dressed.
“Grace,” he sounded strained, he reached down, zipping up his fly before stepping towards me. I stood back. How could he sound so sad when he just broke my heart?
I looked around the room, no one was here, but the bed was messy. Covers were thrown around, pillows holding imprints.
I wanted to ask why. Why hurt me like this? Was it because I was a virgin? Wasn’t I enough? Why?
My mind felt hectic, it wanted me to scream, to hurt him like he did to me, but I couldn’t bring the energy to do so. My body felt too heavy, at a loss, the pain of chains clung to my body, dragging me down, bending my spine.
“Just. Take me home.” I hiccupped, hating how vulnerable I felt. I knew it was all too good to be true. Life wasn’t easy, and someone like Apollo wasn’t easy.
I should have known.
“Grace, it isn’t what it seems.”
“I felt it!” I broke out with a shout. It looked like I had the energy after all. My shout made Apollo go wide-eyed. “I felt your desire. Your happiness, your pleasure.” I spat.
Rubbing my chest, he tracked my movement with an emotion I didn’t know. His hand came to his own chest, rubbing it in circular motions while shaking his head. I should just call Da to pick me up. Otherwise, I knew I would go nuclear on Apollo. I could feel it brewing, ready to erupt.
I needed to leave right now.
Apollo looked like he was about to have a breakdown, still shaking his head while regret filled between us. The grasp of his hair must hurt when he pulled at it. Blue eyes were looking at me, longing.
“You don’t understand! It wasn’t meant to go this way.”
“What?” I spat, refusing to acknowledge the panic from him. The storm rumbled loudly, ready to burst out.
“I…I can’t-Fuck!” Apollo’s anger burst, he threw over an armchair in a rage. He panted short, fast breaths. A look came over him. “It wasn’t…” He looked lost, frantic even as he had his arms up like I was some sort of wild animal.
“Grace…” His mouth opened and close, leaving a thick tense silence in the room. Taking a few breathes he spoke, “I love someone.” He admitted.
His words were like knives, straight on point in my heart. I could feel it. The words were solid in his soul, a confidence that was truth. He was in love with someone.
I tried to stop the sob coming out of my mouth with my hand, Apollo looked in pain at my distress, his gaze had an apology that I couldn’t accept.
“I can’t give them up, Grace. I... We...” He looked so lost while he looked around the room like it could hold answers for him.
But I kept seeing the marks around his throat. I felt sick knowing someone just gave him that. Someone who wasn’t me, another person. Someone who he loves.
“What about me? What about our circle? Don’t you care about us?” I had to fight on their behalf. They needed someone to fight for their future. The thought of them fantasizing about their circle, about us, wishing to find us. It made my stomach a dense pit at the thought of them finding us, broken.
“I care! I promise you I care! Things are too complicated at this moment.”
“I gave you an out!” I said, reminding him.
“I don’t want an out! I love them. They... Grace, please. I never wanted you to find out like this!” His speech was rapid while frustration and anger was bubbling from him.
“Is it the one from the storage room?” I asked already putting the pieces together.
Apollo hesitated for a moment before he whispered, looking away, “Yes.”
“Who is it?”
“I... Can’t tell you.” He said slowly. His uncertainty was evident, but his anger was growing. I could feel his need to destroy the room around him. The unfairness he was currently experiencing was matching my own. He kept looking around the room, then right at me. The dark storm at the back of his mind was growing, darkening with a thunderous roar. Finally, it was just brimming to spill, to erupt.
“Don’t I deserve to know who is laughing behind my back?” I called on. I was close to hysterical. The room was closing in on me, making it a struggle to breathe.
“They are not laughing at you, Grace! You deserve to know, but it’s complicated right now.” The bond twisted as the knot he was feeling tightened around him.
I recoiled, “It is you that should tell me. If you declare your love, then you should tell me who holds your heart.”
“Grace, I-”
“No! If you love them as you say, then you would have no problem telling me!”
Apollo said nothing, he just stared at me. His tears threating to spill. His emotions were like a tsunami, they were too much to catch. But I could sense he wanted me. He was longing for me, but I was too angry, too confused to understand.
Was his mind racing like mine? While I wanted to throw him questions, was he thinking about different things to say?
This was his dark cloud. His secret love affair was the dark storm in the back of his mind. It has always been there since the start. I was too stupid for ignoring it. We both did, while one and another knew it was there.
“Grace, please! Give me a month,” He choked. He was shaking, biting his lip bloody while his tears rolled down his cheeks.
I felt my mouth agape at the nerve of him. But he was locked in a panic and didn’t see my anger at his words.
“A month and I promise you! I will tell you everything!” He continued his hand wringing at his tattooed wrist, grounding himself with the sharp twist of pain that I felt.
I was speechless, his blue eyes that always had that glint of happiness looked manic and wide with fear.
“Have you been with them since you found me?” I asked right out.
Apollo’s his face blanched, but his lack of words said everything at that moment. He had been with them. I knew it in my own soul as it twisted in pain.
“I did stuff with you! I trusted you!” The wave of nausea hit me, shaking me from within. My whole body curled in on itself like a punch to the stomach. Apollo tried to reach for me, but I stepped back, slamming against the door. My hand trembled as it went to my mouth, hoping I wouldn’t hurl. “I did stuff with you, and you were sleeping around still.”
“No!”
Having enough. I stormed out as Apollo yelled after me, but I couldn’t stand him right now.
I was too angry, too sad, just too much everything. People seemed to part like the red sea as I stormed between them. My anger was at a boiling point. I was going to snap. I could feel it. That ringing in my ears made me feel like this was a complete nightmare but giving myself a pinch, I knew it wasn’t.
“Grace?”
Vincent had stepped into my path. I might have looked horrible as his eyes widened at the sight of me.
“What are you doing here?” He asked breathlessly.
“Vincent, please could you drive me home?” I tried not to sound so demanding in my tone, but I needed him to understand the sincerity of my situation.
“Grace, please. Let me drive you home. I promised your mother.” Apollo was by my side, his hands gripping at me, begging me to stay.

93%

“You had promised to look out for me and look how well you did that.” I snapped, making him flinch.
Vincent was quietly watching us, his eyes bouncing between us. His eyebrows then came down in frown before openly glaring at Apollo, “I will take her home.”
“No-”
“She doesn’t want to be around you. Can’t you see that?” Vincent said callously.
Apollo stilled, him fully glaring at Vincent. Our bond hummed with aggression as his face looked like he wanted to smack Vincent and by the way his fist clenched on his side. He was close to do such a thing.
“Don’t.” I said, gripping on Apollo’s shirt like that would do anything.
But Apollo continued to stare at Vincent, who in return, looked back not even blinking. But before I could say anything Apollo looked down at me with a fury that reminded me of the day in the bathroom.
“You want to go with him? Fine. See if I care!” Apollo bared his teeth before his fist hit the wall behind him.
“Come on, my car is outside,” Vincent spoke, but my eyes were on Apollo who was quick to dive into the vortex as he took drinks out of people’s hands, drinking them all the while staring me down. It had a look of challenge like he wanted me to stop him.
I couldn’t watch his downfall tonight while I was experiencing my own.
I followed Vincent.
I felt pathetic as the tears ran down my face. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but it didn't hurt any less. When you fly too close to the sun, you will get burned. But even the coldness of Vincent’s car couldn’t stop the lasting sting of betrayal or my heated cheeks of embarrassment.
So stupid.
“Are you okay?” Vincent asked once we settled in his expensive leather seats. His voice was soft, but it still brought me out of my self-pity.
I brought this on myself, I thought, wiping the strand of tears off my cheeks and prayed that my eyes weren’t swollen as they felt.
Looking over at Vincent, he had both hands on the steering wheel, and his jaw twitched like he was grinding his teeth. He looked so different from the last time he drove me home. Stiffer more on edge.
There was no reason to lie as Vincent would see right through it. He wasn’t stupid.
Unlike me.
“No,” I sighed honestly before I added, “But I will be.”
Maybe that was a lie. I felt like I would never be whole again. I would forever grieve the life I wish I had. I was a fool to be swept up in the fantasy. Mother didn’t want me to experience this pain, like the many others she helped before.
“What did he do?” Vincent asked dryly.
I felt a humorless smile on my face.
“Apollo being Apollo.” My voice cracked as another wave rushed through me. I could feel Lucas distressed and his hot red anger. The suffocation of pain hurt so much. I tried to breathe through both of our agonies.
How dare he throw his pain at me. He didn’t have any reason to feel like he did.
Beside me, Vincent grunted, bringing me back to look at him.
“I’m… sorry.” Vincent spoke slowly. He was clearly uncomfortable with me here.
“Not your fault.” I tried to look out, but his tinted windows and the lights of the streets only allowed me to look at my reflection. My eyes were puffy and smeared with makeup, and my hair was even more fizzled.
I was a complete mess.
“You…you want to talk about it?” Vincent’s voice sounded so uncertain. His tense posture and the slight grimace of his face were a clear sign of how awkward he felt. He was someone who didn’t deal with emotions, and I was sure he was out of his comfort zone. It was clear that Vincent shied away from any type of open emotion and his ice interior was a strong wall that wrapped around him tightly.
Yet, I couldn’t help but feel touched that he was trying to take a step to help.
‘Our relationship is between us, no one else.’ Apollo’s voice came back to me.
Lucas was so full of shit.
“Not at this moment.” I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to bury my head in my pillow and forget about the world.
“Okay,” Vincent’s voice was emotionless. He grunted again in discomfort while I cried silently beside him.
Poor Vincent, I thought with a sad smile.
Vincent didn’t utter a single word while he drove. It would have been peaceful if it wasn’t for my grief. The amount I cried, I was sure I was going to collapse with exhaustion, but Apollo kept up his emotions, making it feel tainted as he plowed feelings into me.
Didn’t he hurt me enough?
Taking a deep breath, I concentrated, feeling the bond. His side pulsed like a bass, sending vibrations waves to me. I focused on myself, only feeling my own emotions and just like that, something clicked.
I couldn’t feel Lucas’ emotions any longer. He was back underwater, a lost hum on what he was feeling.
We were split.
I did it.
I blocked him out.
Apollo didn’t like it as I felt him bang against the invisible wall, demanding entrance again. He was easier to ignore now.
I needed to think about myself right now.
With the lack of his emotions, I felt myself go numb. Tears slowly leaked, but I focused on my breathing.
I didn’t realize we made it home till Vincent turned his car off. Vincent was watching me. His body rigid, so unlike his laid back at ease posture.
“Will you be okay?” He asked as his eyes went to my house, some of the lights were still on.
“Yeah,” My voice sounded thick, “Thanks again for driving me home.” I gave him a smile that I was sure looked more like a grimace, but Vincent said nothing. Instead, his gray eyes took me in silently.
He inhaled like he was about to say something, but I quickly got out of his vehicle. I didn’t need his lecture, not feeling so weak.
“Bye,” I muttered as I practically ran to my front door.
I didn’t stop there either.
I ignored my parents as they called out to me as I ran. My steps quickly went up the stairs. I longed to be alone. Not wanting their stares of pity or Father’s anger.
I made it to my bedroom and dived into my bed, surrounding myself in my own comfort. Ignoring the soft knocks on my door, I descended into my own vortex of self-pity.
Apollo had a lover. Many questions ran through my mind. The way he was so sensitive about it made it click into place. He was in love with someone else that wasn’t in our circle.
I didn’t want to feel trapped, and I’m sure he didn’t either. I would never force him to let go of his love, even with how taboo it was. I wasn’t that type of person to ask someone to do that.
Who was I to deny someone’s happiness?
With someone as lonely as Lucas, of course, he would form another type of connection.
But I’m here! I thought as I pressed my face into my pillow. Wouldn’t our circle be enough? I hurt, ached, and didn’t want to feel anything anymore as I tried to sleep.
Sleep never came for me.

94%

I couldn’t speak to Apollo throughout the weekend. He had tried to contact me, from the dozen drunk texts and the many voice messages. All of him begging, apologizing and saying things that didn’t make sense. It hurt to hear Apollo’s downfall, the way he cried on the phone, it switching it to anger. He did so many things to try and cause a reaction out of me.
But I was standing firm and taking a page out of Da’s book and giving us time. It wouldn’t help anyone if we continued while our emotions still felt raw.
My parents knew something had happened. They tread carefully around me. They did ask a few questions that I simply refused to answer. I mainly stayed in my room having my very own pity party, only allowing myself to wallow in misery for those two days before school.
I needed it as I was in a constant stage of switching between anger and acceptance. I could not settle on one or the other. The pain at Apollo being in love with someone else and the confusion of missing that connection of desire I had felt at the party. My mind was a mess, and I was thankful Apollo didn’t show up on my doorstep making things worse.
But I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever. He had a part of me and vice-versa.
We were permanently connected, forever bound. And I was bonded to someone who loved someone outside our circle. Someone who went to our school. They had to know about me while I didn’t know about them.
What about their Circle? Didn’t they think about them? My heart ached at the future drama I knew both Apollo, and they were making. But during the days with my thoughts, I knew the main reason I was upset.
They had something special, something I couldn’t compete with. Apollo and the other person had formed a bond by choice. I knew it was impossible for them to feel each other’s emotions, to hold each other’s souls, but they created one regardless. They didn’t have the support of the bond. They took a leap together. Trusting in each other, knowing each other blindly.
I wanted that with Apollo.
I tried to mentally prepare myself as I drove to school. It was a struggle to pull myself together. I knew Apollo was going to use my hate of attention to get me to talk to him.
As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, he was there, waiting. His shoulders slumped against the building, but they straightened as he saw me.
I swallowed down the rising anger I felt once I saw him. I tried to breathe, calming myself down for the battle I knew I was about to face. Apollo made his way towards me, a determined look on his face.
A part of me longed to drive off, hide away forever. That did sound good, but I felt a need to enter school. I had to face him, not just for me but for our circle.
Apollo was waiting by my door, knocking on the window gently, “Grace?”
I closed my eyes, the need to cry came again.
He sounded so Lucas, the voice that made my stomach flutter and tugged my heartstrings. The tone of loneliness I knew he felt.
But he wasn’t lonely. My mind snapped bringing that anger back. My skin prickled with irritation as Apollo so easily brought these emotions from me.
Ever the impatient Apollo opened my door.
“Grace?” His voice wobbled as the cool air hit me.
I breathed out a long exhale as I exited my car. Apollo made room by stepping back slightly, I could feel his eyes on me as he tried to reach for our bond, but I refused. Even with the space between us he was still too much for me. I turned, closing my door, facing away from his pleading eyes.
I can’t do this, I thought as I rested my forehead against my car, the cool metal helping to tame the lingering anger I was experiencing. Taking a deep breath, I straightened my posture before started to walk briskly to the main school entrance.
I didn’t know what to say to Apollo. I didn’t want any mean hurtful words between us, no matter how angry I felt. I had watched my own parents say things in anger and I wasn’t going to start now with my own circle member.
I didn’t even stop to talk to Julia, Hannah and Kristina, they all watched with horror and concern. They sent me looks of pity as Apollo ran to catch up with me.
“Grace, please!” Apollo appealed as he walked by my side. He easily matched my own hurried pace. I was thankful he didn’t touch me, but my heart ached at his desperate tone. “Look at me, please! Or at least talk to me.”
“Will you tell me everything?” I asked, finally looking at him. His attire looked worn along with his eyes. He hadn’t slept. And I could smell the sour booze that was clinging on him. He had been drinking.
Apollo gave a pained expression, “I can’t.”
“Why can’t you?” I asked flatly, but he only shook his head. “Then I have nothing to say to you,” I muttered before continuing to walk.
We couldn’t carry on with secrets. It would cause our ruin even more.
“Why can’t you wait? It will only be a month!” His hand grabbed on my arm, clutching to me.
“Why should I wait?” My voice went high before I lowered it to a harsh whisper that only he could hear. Students were looking over at us now. “You cheated on our circle, and you expect me to wait? That doesn’t make sense.”
“I love them,′ Apollo said again and it still hurt just as much.
I wasn’t good enough.
Acceptance washed through me. I knew it deep in my bones without the bond to see that he really did love this person.
“I know,” I puffed, looking down at the floor while jealousy clawed my insides. I couldn’t stop the sorrow that leaked from me. “I just can’t do this now.” I admitted. I was still angry, still grieving at the loss of my fantasy.
So stupid.
I left Apollo with his own despair. He tried to tug the bond, trying to stop me, pleading me through it, but it felt so far away, making me untouchable.

96%

I don’t know how I managed school. I was in a haze-like state as I went through the passing minutes. Julia and the girls tried to pry and ask if I was okay, but I only shook my head, unable to answer. But I think they knew, and Kristina looked at me with deep sadness.
She did warn me…
My own fault… So stupid.
Lunchtime came, and I didn’t want the gawks of people looking at me. They knew something had happened, and whispers of Apollo acting up were being spread around school.
I found myself wandering around, avoiding groups of people. Not hungry or even paying attention to my surroundings, I was deep in my thoughts. I didn’t even realize I was in the musical side of the school.
I hadn’t been here since my tour.
I looked at each open door and large window, seeing all the instruments. My gaze caught Dylan. He was talking to Kai with a soft smile on his dimpled face while Kai looked a little worried.
An idea formed in my head as I went into the room.
Kai eyes snapped towards me when I opened the door. It creaked loudly, interrupting their conversation. Kai’s mouth gaped at me before he went bright red before looking on the ground. Dylan brightened as I entered. His broad smile brought a smile from me as he waved for me to enter further inside.
Dylan’s face was still slowly healing, the swelling on his face was completely gone. Only leaving the bruising that was still a lingering purple.
Kai flushed, he snapped back to Dylan, who looked concerned but said nothing as he waited for Kai to finish.
“I can’t do this Thursday, but I’m able to do Friday- if that is okay?” Kai stammered, his hands holding onto his art folders like his life depended on them.
Dylan smiled as he clasped Kai’s shoulder. The guy looked like he was vibrating as he shook, flushing red, making his freckles appear much darker than they were.
“No problem, man, I will make sure I’m available this Friday.”
With a quick nod, Kai bolted out of the room. He didn’t even look at me as his sole focus was on the ground as he went past.
That was weird, I thought to myself with a frown. Kai was shy but never that shy.
Dylan gave an amused chuckle, “Don’t let Kai offend you. He is timid.”
“I have a few classes with him. I think I might have taken him by surprise. I didn’t mean to interrupt you both.”
Dylan waved his hand, “Nah, it’s fine. No interruptions here.” He paused for a moment as he cocked his head at me. “This is your first time stepping into a music room.”
“I’m not really into music.” I sounded a little apologetic, but I carried on. “My parents made me learn at least one instrument.”
“Let me guess, a flute?”
“Yep, and I still didn’t fully learn. I don’t have the patience for it, but I might be interested now?”
“Well, I’m your man,” He coughed as he sputtered. “Like a teacher! A man teacher. I can teach you music.” He spoke lamely, his face flushed, his eyes cast down looking slightly defeated.
“Any instruments you want to learn?” He asked after perking himself up.
“What’s the easiest to play?” I smiled
Dylan hummed as he looked at me in thought. I could see his silent questioning. I never showed interest. Why now?
“Let me have a look at your hands,” He demanded with a smile that looked playful.
I brought my hands up, palms showing, as he inspected them with determination.
“You can tell what instrument I’m suited for by my hands?” I asked in wonder.
Dylan’s eyes came up to mine, twinkling.
“No, just checking if they are clean. Don’t want grubby instruments.” Dylan said with a widened grin.
I huffed out a laugh using my hands to push him back at his chest. He laughed at my mockery of anger. “You would be surprised how many times I had to clean one from powdered Cheetos stains.”
I wrinkled my nose at the thought.
“But you pass inspection.” Dylan’s wink caused a blush to form on my cheeks. He was too good looking at times. He gestured towards the grand piano on the side of the room.
“Go ahead, sit down.” He ordered softly.
I did, timidly gliding on the keys. They were smooth like silk. I could feel Dylan behind me. He gave a mild heat, not like Apollo, but I noticed he was close behind me.
“Now, play something.” His voice was close to a whisper, a soft wind close to my ear.
“I don’t know a song to play.” I admitted, sounding breathless with him so close. I’ve never touched a piano before.
Dylan gave a huff, the exhale hit my neck sending a hot tremor from me. “You don’t need to play a song written by someone on how they felt. Instead, you play a song you want to play.”
I felt him back away, leaving me slightly relaxed. I couldn’t help but look back to watch him.
“Go ahead,” He smiled, nodding towards the piano as he buckled his guitar in its case.
Quickly I aggressively mashed the keys. My anger at Lucas came out as I pressed down as many keys as possible, not making a gentle melody but just sound to represent my fury. It was loud and abrupt.
“Whoa! Whoa!” Dylan went as he stood up quickly, holding his hands up to stop me. “What are you doing?” His voice was high with alarm.
“Expressing myself,” I said, which made him lift his brows at me.
“By harming it?” His voice was still high as he rubbed his face before looking down at me with amusement.
I did want to harm Apollo…
I gave Dylan a look of innocence, causing a bubble of a laugh to come from him, shaking his head. “Okay, let’s try this-”
The music door burst open, making both me and Dylan jump. I saw who it was as I grumbled under my breath, turning back to the keys.
“Apollo is looking for you.” Vincent declared from behind me. He stood by the door. His usual school attire was on full show today.
Why did he pretend to be two different people?
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, turning around to him. “You’re the one who told me to stay away from him.”
Vincent nodded as his eyes went to Dylan with a slight frown before looking back at me. “I did. But as he is part of your circle, I have no right to make you stay away.” His eyes went back to stare hard at Dylan while he grabbed the door frame, leaning in slightly. “Besides, Apollo is working himself up looking for you.”
I slammed my hand on the keys again, the loud noise made Dylan flinch at its deafening sound, but Vincent didn’t even seem affected.
Nothing did.
“I don’t want to see him right now.” I sniffed, putting my nose in the air like a child.
If he didn’t want to tell me the truth, I wouldn’t talk to him.
Vincent’s gray eyes darkened at me. I was pretty sure he was working on a lecture in his frosted mind right now.
“Are you okay, Vincent?” I asked, feeling slightly petty, he was still standing there looking at me. His face was still unreadable, but his gray eyes held something I couldn’t read.
With a blink, he seemed to straighten himself before giving me a frown. “You need to keep Apollo in check.”
It was my time to blink.
“I’m not his parent, Vincent.” I tried to keep my tone light, but my anger was seeping through.
“You’re part of his circle. If he keeps acting up, that is on you. For once, it won’t be me keeping him in line.” There was just something about Vincent that made my blood boil. His attitude and manner never helped either.
“No one asked you to,” I finally snapped at him.
What was with him?
I noticed a tiny tick on his right side of his jaw before he spoke, “I’ll just tell him you’re here.”
“I won’t be here when he gets here!” I shouted, making Vincent raise an eyebrow at me. I felt the chill that he brought, but I didn’t back down. Slowly, he closed the music room door, and I heard a click.
He had locked me in.
“Vincent!” I screamed as I rushed to the door, turning the handle with a pull. It didn’t move. Vincent stood there with a bunch of keys in his hands that he jingled with a smirk that he rarely pulled.
He held too much power and trust here.
“This is a health and safety violation!” I shouted as he walked off, hoping his good guy act would come through.
It didn’t.
“Well, I didn’t expect that.” Dylan mumbled, looking a little out of his depth.
“Please tell me you have a spare key?”
Dylan flushed sheepishly as his face went red, “I do, but it’s in my locker.”
I groaned as Dylan rubbed his head, looking a little lost at our situation.
“Can I ask you a personal question- please tell me to fuck off if I cross the line?” He asked after a short moment.
“Okay,” Worry hit my stomach, sinking and pulling my insides.
“As much as I like you being here, why?” He asked carefully, his eyes watching me for any reaction.
“I heard music can be a way to release your emotions.” I said honestly. For the last two days I still haven’t felt like I was under control. I still felt all bundled up, not understanding my own emotions. I just wanted it all to stop, just for a moment. I just needed…
“An escape,” I muttered, looking at my hands. “Apollo had mentioned before that people do things to escape. And I… wanted to try. At least for a moment.”
“Ah,” Dylan nodded like he understood. “Music can do that. It’s another form for your expression. It all travels to the instrument giving you a voice that sometimes words, or movement cannot express. Is that why you are here?”
“I just… wanted to get away.”
“Does your need to get away have something to do with Apollo?” He asked slowly, cautiously as a pity came to his features.
Why was there always pity?
It’s like they all knew. Knew that I was stupid at believing Apollo’s lies. Were they all waiting for something like this to happen?
I nodded, unable to speak.
Dylan’s eyes soften with sadness. “I’m sorry you didn’t find what you were looking for.” Dylan sighed, frowning at the piano like it was its fault I was bad at music. He did look genuinely sorry.
I shrugged, trying to play it off. “Music isn’t my thing. But I had to try.”
“Is music your escape?” I wondered, breaking the silence again.
Dylan gave a sad laugh. “Performing is. Getting on a stage and giving people some entertainment is a rush.” His light blue eyes became glazed as he was thinking about it. “One of the reasons I can’t say no. I could have gone into acting, but I had talent with the cords.” He gave a cheeky smile.
He wasn’t boasting, just stating a fact.
Dylan was quiet for a moment. His eyes glanced at me like he was debating in his mind. But it looked like he had come to a verdict as he turned to me.
“You know, Grace, you should talk to Apollo. Whatever is on your mind or if something has happened, I’m sure you guys can work through it.”
My laugh came out sad, forced as I felt the twist of grief. “I wish it was that simple.”
Dylan didn’t know. He couldn’t possibly imagine the situation we were in.
“It is.” He spoke as his voice sounded firm, “Grace, Apollo is your circle member. You can work past this. You’re made for each other.” Dylan swallowed as he looked away. “I know I would do everything in my power to make you happy if you were mine.”
I felt my cheeks warm along with his as we both watched each other. A longing pulled at me. Having Dylan in my circle sounded so lovely. He was everything I could see myself having as a circle member. He was gentle, sweet and caring.
Without thinking, my hand felt his warmth as we both jumped at my contact.
We both looked down at my hand on his arm. I wasn’t pulled towards him, and I felt sad as a wave of disappointment hit me. Even he looked a little bummed at the lack of reaction.
“I’m sorry.” I mumbled, pulling away from him. I couldn’t believe I touched him like that.
But Dylan stopped my hand, giving me a sad smile and a soft squeeze. “It’s okay. I also wanted to know.” He whispered. His hand still touched mine while nothing would ever connect us, his thumb rubbing the back of my hand. It felt like small comfort. Different but not bad.
“Grace-”
“What the fuck?” Apollo’s voice was loud, making us flinch apart.
Apollo’s stare was full of fire as he watched Dylan. I could see hatred fuming off Apollo as he glared towards the guy who was trying to comfort me.
“I can check if I want to, Apollo.” I snapped as we both stood up.