em’s Reviews > Letters to Milena > Status Update

i thought i’d go crazy out of sheer grief, longing, and a terrible love of life.

are t our eyes made to be torn out, and our hearts for the same purpose?
you are the knife i turn inside myself, this is love.

not because i’m particularly tired, but because i’m “heavy.” i have been overcome by the nothingness i once described.

my love engulfs you the way the sea loves a tiny pebble on its bed- and may i be the pebble with you, heaven permitting.

i was so happy to find this narrow tunnel leading out of the dark apartment to you. i had thrown myself into it with all my soul…

and i close my eyes to gaze into those depths, and am almost engulfed in you.

but since today is today and tomorrow tomorrow i’m going to leave myself some freedom.
i must have read this sentence once in a fairy tale, somewhere near the other sentence: and they lived happily ever after.

i also hear your laughter but i keep digging into your letters, burrowing between your words and you laughter- until i then hear one single word, one word which is, moreover, my very essence: fear.

having merely to redraw the old narrow outline of your character a little more firmly.
milena calls with a voice that pierces your heart as strongly as it does your reason.