Sarah Mac’s Reviews > Zanzara > Status Update

...Yup. Our heroine fearlessly endures some displaced Mozambique prince's giant wang. This whole book is lousy with displaced royalty & giant wangs. Oh, snap! :D

'Her mistress was a strange one. One minute this Duchess de Morenguey possessed the elegance of royalty, the next she was as bawdy & as accursed as many of the Berber houris. She needs the strength of a man to whip her & love her & sing the songs if Suleiman for certain. Still, all in all, she was a good mistress.' ....Poor Alisha just doesn't understand multiple personalities. :P

...Huh. Some creep just got his pecker sliced off. Never again will I question your quest to cram all the WTFery into a single volume, ZANZARA. All you're missing is a gang of dwarves. >:D

Phaedra's got a full-on multiple personality disorder going with Zanzara. So bizarre. What else can this marvelous trashy tome roll out? :D

'He thrust his hands through the bars, grasping the other by the neck, pulling him against the bars in a lethal hold. "Capria, eh? Why do you call me Capria? Who told you my name? Who are you, you misbegotten son of an impotent hunchback camel!"' ....BEST CREATIVE INSULT. :D

"You insist on becoming a courtesan. Whatever your reasons I'm disinclined to learn of them. But, dear child, if you think you've seen the sordid side of life here, the worst humanity has to offer here in the bordello, it's nothing compared to the debaucheries that await you in the court of Napoleon III."

Story update: Phaedra runs away to save her husband, changes her name back to Zanzara, & hides in a bordello...where they use DILDOS!! *clutches pearls*

'The obliging mafioso pulled their guest into the room &, with a waving motion of his hand, gestured to his companions. At the same time he projected a mysterious force of power. "Questo sonno mi amici. Alora, paesano, what do you tell me, eh? What brings you here to favor us with your visit?"' ....Break out the wine casks & horse heads, y'all. Sicilian Mafia is getting involved in this here bungled revolution.

'He'd been like a father to Darius, caring for him, dressing him, feeding him at times, listening to his whimsy, sharing in the happier moments. But that was long ago. Now the walls were crumbling. The basest of all infamitas! He'd produced the prince's own daughter to satisfy his prurient & salacious appetites!' ....*fail horn* Accidental incest, oh noes! :P

'She moved through the haze of death's presence like a sleepwalker & suddenly stopped short, arrested by that same look of demoniacal horror on Raquel's face that had earlier jolted Sarafina with the awareness that this death was not one of natural causes.' ....Zounds! Someone has poisoned Milady Raquel! :O