max theodore > Recent Status Updates

i'm normal i'm normal i'm normal i'm normal i'm normal i'm normal i'm n

book twenty-four // 48 books of iliad + odyssey coming to a close with this one, which the translator simply called "peace," has me feeling some kind of way

book twenty-three // maybe one het couple has rights

book twenty-two // love when homer mentions an architectural feature of odysseus’s palace and all the footnotes are like “yeah we have no idea how the fuck this building is supposed to work”

anyway you know that feeling of rabid triumph you get at the end of hamlet when he finally FINALLY stabs the king? that’s book 22

book twenty-one // can you imagine being at the banquet where the bards debuted this shit and getting to the part where, after twenty-one books of harrowing struggle, odysseus strings that bow and shoots all the way down the line of the axes? people must have gone fucking insane

book twenty // sorry my mind is churning with thoughts of bloody work do you still think i'm hot

anyway my class starts discussing the aeneid on tuesday so i'm using my excitement for that to motivate myself to finish this first

i've learned from my brother that whenever the very minor character dennis comes onstage at rehearsal, all the theater kids in the wings start cheering like it's the fucking pope

i forgot how much i love this silly little play until i got to watch my brother in rehearsal for it and now i am 1) jealous of him 2) thinking about as you like it again

book nineteen // can you stop committing identity fraud for two seconds and tell your traumatized wife it’s you 😭

book eighteen // the suitors all collectively decided they want this old man obliterated huh

book seventeen // NOOOOO THE DOG NOT THE FUCKING DOG

book sixteen // of all the places to read the odyssey, an airport feels apt

book fifteen // i know telemachus is doing his best, but that doesn't mean i have to be invested in it :pensive: honestly i just want to see odysseus kill these clowns

I HAVE SO MANY LIBRARY BOOKS BUT I CAN FEEL THIS BOOK SINKING ITS CLAWS INTO ME IM FUCKING OBSESSED IM AFRAID TO KEEP READING BC THAT MEANS IT WILL EVENTUALLY END

UM?

book fourteen // guy who only reads shakespeare: getting some real harry le roy vibes from this

book thirteen // the serendipity of my reading odysseus’s return to ithaca on the car ride home for fall break. hopefully my cats have not amassed murderous suitors while i was gone

NOT THE BONE PUNS. MY HOPES FOR THIS ARE ASTRONOMICAL

one chapter in i’m so obsessed with gideon

book twelve // scylla and charybdis were lesbians

and in the next segment of plato's famous work, after the mpreg metaphor, we have socrates' boyfriend (?) stumbling in to say, quote, "good evening, gentlemen. i'm plastered"

book eleven // i know damn well it's the other way around but that's not gonna stop me from going "omg nice aeneid reference"

book ten // [circe voice] all men are pigs ✨

book nine // i feel like there's a lot of potential for a joke about odysseus and mitski but apparently nobody's going to tell it

book eight // not to bludgeon the obvious but… “surely no man in the world is nameless, all told” to Nobody himself…

book seven // "i am a stranger, you see, weighed down with troubles, come this way from a distant, far-off shore."

oh NOW we’re in it with the homoerotic misogyny

book six // the bar is on the fucking FLOOR but good for odysseus for tastefully covering his dick before stumbling naked into a group of young girls ig

incredible how much nothing happens in the first most of this book

book five // nice loom penelope sorry about your husband cheating on you in his very first scene