ZeV > Recent Status Updates

"This is why we can't let externals determine whether something was worth it or not. It's on us. ... The world is, after all, indifferent to what we humans "want." If we persist in wanting, in *needing*, we are simply setting ourselves up for resentment or worse. ... Doing the work is enough."

Change the definition of success.

"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the *effort* to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." -- John Wooden

"Do your work. Do it well. Then "let go and let God." That's all there needs to be. ... Recognition and rewards--those are just extra. Rejection, that's on them, not on us."

Justinian's thankless treatment of Belisarius. What's the point when the effort is not enough?

"What matters to an active man is to do the right thing; whether the right thing comes to pass should not bother him." -- Goethe

"Cast down your bucket where you are" -- Booker T. Washington.

"Make use of what's around you. Don't let stubbornness make a bad situation worse."

"That's what so many of us do when we fail or get ourselves into trouble. Lacking the ability to examine ourselves, we reinvest our energy into exactly the patterns of behavior that cause our problems to begin with. ... But what if we said: This is an opportunity for me. I am using it for my purposes. I will not let this be dead time for me. ... The dead time was when we were controlled by ego. Now--now we can live."

"Humble and strong people don't have the same trouble with these troubles that egotists do. There are fewer complaints and far less self-immolation. Instead, there's stoic--even cheerful--resilience. Pity isn't necessary. Their identity isn't threatened. They can get by without constant validation. ... What matters is that we can respond to what life throws at us."

"Ego loves this notion, the idea that something is "fair" or not. Psychologists call it narcissistic injury when we take personally totally indifferent and objective events. We do that when our sense of self is fragile and dependent on life going our way all the time. Whether what you're going through is your fault or your problem doesn't matter, because it's yours to deal with right now."

"Aristotle speaks of virtue and excellence as points along a spectrum. Courage ... lies between cowardice on one end and recklessness on the other. Generosity ... must stop short of either profligacy and parsimony .... Where the line--this golden mean--is can be difficult to tell, but without finding it, we risk dangerous extremes. This is why it is so hard to be excellent."

Angela Merkel's unpretentious personality as a successful leader. "You can't solve ... tasks with charisma."

"When we're wealthy and told that we're important or powerful, Ego tells us that meaning comes from activity, that being the center of attention is the only way to matter. ... When we lack a connection to anything larger or bigger than us, it's like a piece of our soul is gone. ... Ego blocks us from the beauty and history in the world. It stands in the way."

The Stoics' "sympatheia"--a connectedness with the cosmos. Pierre Hadot's "oceanic feeling".

"As his wifer later observed, (George Marshall) had the same traits that everyone has--ego, self-interest, pride, dignity, ambition--but they were "tempered by a sense of humility and selflessness.""

"Yet this is what we regularly refuse to do; our ego precludes serving any larger mission we're a part of. ... What are we going to do? Let someone get one over on us?"

"it would be more fun to be constantly involved in every tiny matter, and might make us feel important to be the person called to put out fires. The little things are endlessly engaging and often flattering, while the big picture can be hard to discern. It's not always fun, but it is the job. If you don't think big picture--because you're too busy playing "boss man"--who will?"

"As you become successful ..., your responsibilities may begin to change. Days become less and less about *doing* and more and more about making decisions. Such is the nature of leadership. This transition requires reevaluating and updating your identity. It requires a certain humility to put aside some of the more enjoyable or satisfying parts of your previous job. It means others might be more qualified ..."

"He who indulges in empty fears earns himself real fears" -- Seneca

"Paranoia thinks, I can't trust anyone. I'm in this totally by myself and for myself. It says, I'm surrounded by fools. It says focusing on my work, my obligations, myself is not enough. I also have to be orchestrating various machinations behind the scenes--to get them before they get me; to get them back for the slights I perceive."

"Control says, It all must be done *my* way--even little things. It can become paralyzing perfectionism, or a million pointless battles fought merely for the sake of exerting its say. It too exhausts people whose help we need ... To what end? In reality, we don't control the weather, we don't control the market, we don't control other people, and our efforts and energies in spite of this are pure waste."

"Entitlement assumes: This is mine. I've earned it. At the same time, entitlement nickels and dimes *other* people because it can't conceive of valuing another person's time as highly as its own. It delivers tirades and pronouncements that exhaust the people who work for and with us, who have no choice other than to go along."

"Yes, there are legitimate stresses and anguish that come with the responsibilities of your new life. All the things you're managing, the frustrating mistakes of people who should know better, the endless creep of obligations--no one prepares us for that, which makes the feelings all the harder to deal with. The promised land was supposed to be nice, not aggravating. But you can't let the walls close in on you."

The complete and utter sense of certainty that got you here can become a liability if you're not careful. The demands and dream you had for a better life? The ambition that fueled your effort? These begin as earnest drives but left unchecked become hubris and entitlement. The same goes for the instinct to take charge; now you're addicted to control. Driven to prove the doubters wrong? Welcome to the seeds of paranoia

"With success, particularly power, come some of the greatest and most dangerous delusions: entitlement, control, and paranoia."

"Maybe your priority actually is money. ... All of these are perfectly fine motivations. But you do need to know. You need to know what you don't want and what your choices preclude. ... Life requires those trade-offs, but ego can't allow it."

"This is especially true with money: If you don't know how much you need, the default easily becomes: more. And so without thinking, critical energy is diverted from a person's calling and toward filling a bank account."

According to Seneca, the Greek word *euthymia* is one we should think of often: it is the sense of our own path and how to stay on it without getting distracted by all the others that intersect it. In other words, it's not about beating the other guy. It's not about having more than the others. It's about being what you are, and being as good as possible at it, without succumbing to all the things that draw you away.

"The farther you travel down that path of accomplishment, ... the more often you meet other successful people who make you feel insignificant. ... so we unconsciously pick up the pace to keep up with others. But what if different people are running for different reasons? What if there is more than one race going on?"

"All of us regularly say yes unthinkingly, or out of vague attraction, or out of greed or vanity. Because we can't say no--because we might miss out on something if we did. We think "yes" will let us accomplish more, when in reality it prevents exactly what we seek. All of us waste precious life doing things we don't like, to prove ourselves to people we don't respect, and to get things we don't want."