Vim > Recent Status Updates

Hello to the new people here? Honestly, I've been so lazy updating here so where the heck are you all from XD but I guess I'll be pasting my reviews here too. I hope you're all having an amazing day! Stay weird.

MC: Henry is the model husband, restored my faith in romance. (Doesn't say why)
MC, literally two pages later: I thought he'd be more around since my sister got pregnant (high risk).

Can't decide yet if it's an inconsistency or is there a secret commentary here 🤭

First chapter. I'll let the infodumping slide. I wish it was paced slower but it is what it is. I got a headache from the jump from one paragraph to another seemingly connected paragraph but like there's a missing connecting thought. Not even a thought, just a phrase like "instead of X"... (Re: Clover Press and Vanguard)

"Only the best can become queen. And she is not the best. If she were, these people would still be alive."

WHAT THE HELL, that first chapter was intense AF - from the traditional jump rope getting sabotaged by spirits to the bloodbath that happened. Not what I expected at all! LORD HELP ME DEAL WITH MY FEELINGS.

Okay I really like Kallia but daaamn, this book straddles the line between invoking an air of mystery and just creating a clusterfuck of random facts nobody cares about. Dude, I don't care about the four gates. I didn't even knew they existed until this chapter and they're supposed to be a landmark?? Who are the Patrons?? Why are you saying they're so important? Still not a clue!

In terms of buildup, there is none. Characters find out about stuff by overhearing conversations and monologues, and make life decisions based on that. The first bit focused on setting up a sensual (?) feel between Jack and Kallia then all of a sudden shifted OUT OF NOWHERE.

A lot of inconsistencies in world-building. Why doesn't anyone use magic to warm themselves up? Why does everyone seem to forget magic exists?

I must admit Kallia is interesting and that is the only redeeming attribute this book has.

It's weird. The book would claim this place or that event is mysterious or renowned, and expect the reader to believe it in a snap. Glorian was the city lost in the woods but everyone seems to have access to it. Is it a dying city, a dead one, a poor one? Historical? I dunno, unclear, but it's cold there.

Building like mountains that could have been manors. Proud, jutting towers like the tops of palaces.

DUDE WHAT.

First sentence, you compared buildings to mountains then reverted to buildings??? Second one, ARENT TOWERS (sometimes) PARTS OF PALACES??? What's the point of making a comparison of you're just gonna compare it to itself???

Oh my god. The writing is giving me a headache.

"The city, Kallia knew, as Glorian." WTH IS WITH THE COMMAS??? You don't need a dramatic pause for EVERYTHING. It's okay to say things without unnecessary modifiers!!!

26% in and no signs of intelligent life.

What I know so far is Elara is a narcissist. She thinks she's this magnanimous, understanding person who knows why people are causing her pain (because they're insecure, etc) when in reality she's the problem.

Her JM Buckler is showing.

Elara automatically hates all women she meets. She thinks there is only one kind of beauty in women. On the other hand, she instantly likes every hot guy and gets angry when they have girlfriends?

What a Karen.

This is getting harder and harder to read. Imagine a story is 1st person POV but you see quotes when the MC is alone. She's talking aloud, right? Exclamation, sure. Side comments, okay!

BUT AN ENTIRE TRAIN OF THOUGHT?

So annoying because KEEP YOUR INTERNAL MONOLOGUES INSIDE.

Too much irrelevant/over-the-top description. Lady, you do not have to tell us about the material of everything your MC touches or how she spent her entire day and every person she smiled at.

Also, stop calling your MC smart when she's being stupid as heck all the freaking time.

"How can I run if I can't move? Adrenaline. I need some motivation."

WOW

Imagine being able to motivate yourself into producing adrenaline. Either:
1. Elara is dumb af.
2. Buckler didn't research

Oh wait. Why not both???

"Snakes?" I glanced at where my feet lay, protected only by thin rubber thongs.

These MCs sure claim they're not pretty but being smart is their thing but ALL THROUGH THE BOOK, THEY'RE STUPID AF. Like YOURE SMART???

FOR A WHAT?

A COCKROACH?

"My lips vibrated together..."

WAIT.

HOLD THE HECK UP

WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

DONT YOU HAVE LIPS

HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW HOW LIPS WORK

"I twisted and turned, irritated with the rough polyester webbing that rubbed against my skin. Surrendering any hope of comfort, I loosened the belt and collapsed like a fallen tree onto my side."

Good god, *insert Chandler GIF* COULD THIS PROSE BE ANY PURPLER?"

"I didn't fit the mold of the bubbly, popular cheerleader or the wild, get into-mischief type either. I was just... Me. Excelling in the academics came naturally - and so did staying under the radar."

You know what else came naturally? Your being a snowflake. There is no mold, sister. Life is not a Sims game where you pick a "personality". Most of us are multifaceted and have depth.

"I giggled, observing my parents. Not only did their physical appearances differ but their personalities were the polar opposites of one another."

You know when I would be worried? If my parents' appearances didn't differ. Srsly, this could have been phrased better.

So far, Citra (female MC) is so unlikeable. She sasses the "Honorable" Scythe Faraday, who's supposed to command some ounce of respect, all the time to the point I lost my high regard for him. Rowan (male MC) is interesting and is showing depth.

It just boggles my wits why in a society where (natural or accidental) death could be avoided, why the heck would Scythes have the option of making you suffer?

+ more poetic than the usual Schwab fare
+ taking time to set up Addie and her terrible fate/curse

- repetitive in more ways than one - Schwab heavily leans on anaphora (as I've been recently informed of the name of this pattern), repeats the effects of Addie's curse over and over
- I feel no connection to the side characters Addie refers to (ex. Estele). Not enough time/interest to make me attached to Estele

I will pretend I'm smart enough to make sense of this.

What's not to love about Heloise?

(I'm serious, here's a list)

1. Praises herself too much
2. Gets sidetracked from the story every 5 seconds
3. Gorgeous
4. Thinks she's funny
5. Is actually funny

We are very similar (See items 1, 2 & 4).

One scene. LITERALLY ONE. In different POVs.

Elena's (Aiden) Goodbye Elena
Aiden's (Himself) Goodbye Elena
Will's (Aiden) Goodbye darling

WHAT THE HEEEECK

POV change = same as other POV, different pronouns

THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! There is no added value here. Like, zero. Just imagine Stephenie Meyer writing Midnight Sun within Twilight.

I have not read Midnight Sun, I'm sorry Meyer if I'm damaging your name by making this comparison.

Author has a bad habit of describing everything Elena does. She's focusing on the wrong thing. The setting must be described, the crew, the motivation, BY GOD, THE PLOT! Instead she goes on about what color of shirt Elena chooses, what she uses for her hair since she doesn't have a comb...

The girl also gets passed around like a ball as Aiden tells her one story and Will tells her another. The she believes both,

In which everyone is aware they are a story and so refers to each other as heroes and villains, where a 17 y/o girl gets kidnapped twice/spirited away/made to come with uniformed, and ends up having sex with a guy old enough to call her a kid.

Oh and the only POC in the tale is a tea now.

Basically, take everything nice about Peter Pan and that's it. But hey, scary mermaids is always a win.

So far, we get the most WattPad-ish white boi names ever like Cash and Aiden (which is a super downgrade from Peter Pan), guys looking girls they just met up and down because that's how you show women the respect they deserve (zero), and a totally Not-Like-Other-Girls ™ Girl (only because unlike other girls, she is stupid enough to come with a guy he barely knows to a made-up place).

"I shower quickly, change into a pair of black leggings, a tank top, and my favorite cardigan, wrap myself in my favorite chunky knit blanket, and lay down on the bed."

Aside from redundancy, author feels the need to list every step she takes, every move she makes, every claim she stakes (creepy Peter's watching yoooou)

"Then I slowly make my way up the stairs, still constantly spraying. When I reach the top, I go right back down for the rest of my supplies."

So Peter is a creep now. Edward Cullen who?