Rai (is hard to please) > Recent Status Updates

“I can’t decide if we look intimidating or like we’re forming a Goth band,” she said, and he sniffed, tugging at his lapels.

“It was probably residual sex hormones, but it felt good, having Wells by her side. Scarier than that, it felt right, the same way having him in her bedroom had felt right last night.
Maybe, just maybe, it was time to get used to the idea that Wells felt right . . . in general.”

“It was freeing, completely losing one’s fucking mind.
Because clearly that’s what he’d done, and Wells was not sure he’d ever been happier.”

“I suppose that makes me sound like quite the sad bastard.”
“I already thought that about you, so no harm, no foul.”

“It’s ridiculous to think we’ll just be able to waltz in there and do this.”
“Well, start counting in three-quarter time, Esquire, because we’re waltzing.”

“Okay, you know what? Just for that, when these weirdos pick someone to ritually sacrifice tonight, I am absolutely volunteering you.”
“No less than I deserve,” he replied, and she smiled a little, shaking her head.
“I hate when you make me like you, Esquire.”
“I’ll endeavor to be more unlikable in the future,” he promised, and Gwyn snorted.
“Sentences like that help.”

💚 “Are you sure?” Gwyn asked him. “I realize whoever this woman is, she probably didn’t ask your father’s permission to court you, but it might still be a date to those of us who aren’t time travelers from 1823.”

“You know, Rhys,” she told him, “when I’m Queen Witch, I could have you executed for that kind of thing.”
“And while I will actively lead a resistance against the dark sovereignty of the Witch Queen Gwyn, I will support her in this one thing,” Wells said (…)
Rhys frowned, looking back and forth between them. “Wait. Wait, no, I hate this. Go back to being mean to each other, please.”

“Ooh, and with you and Mom gone, this makes me the head of the family.”
Vivi laughed at that, and encouraged, Gwyn sat up. “The matriarch,” she continued. “Head Witch in Charge. Queen Witch. I’ll be drunk with power by the time you come home. Just full-on Galadriel, beautiful and terrible.”

… should I steal Gwyn’s personality?

That sweater vest was better than any cold shower. She was going to buy him extra ones. Maybe something in polka dots.
Standing up a little straighter, Gwyn thrust the paper cup of coffee at him. “I got this for you,” she said.
He didn’t take it. “Is it poisoned?”
“Yes, I finally decided the only way to handle a mild retail feud was with some murder. Well done, Esquire.”

Imagine being witty

💚 “Does Wells Penhallow come in very often?”
“Um, our archenemy? Sometimes?”

💛 “Gwyn didn’t actually have a usual, she just liked saying that, and Sam liked making up various concoctions she thought could be Gwyn’s usual.”

Our Baby Witches are so cuteeeeee 😩😩

💚 “I think Wells is a prick ninety percent of the time, but I find I cannot toast to his failure.” He screwed up his face. “Is this what familial love feels like?”

Who let him be this funny

💚 “Yes, I did run a pub and did not actually enjoy it very much.”
“Was it because you had to talk to people and therefore pretend to be a person yourself rather than an android who runs on tea and disdain?”

💚 “Wells knew both his brothers had a very different relationship with Simon than he did, but it was, in his opinion, slightly ridiculous that they acted as though talking to their father were some sort of monumental feat. He did it nearly every day, after all, but then maybe it was one of those things where you had to build up a tolerance.
Like exercise. Or poison.”

DO WE HAVE AN ENBY FRIEND??????

“Besides, I want souvenirs. Little Welsh flags, maybe some kind of stuffed dragon situation . . . ooh, and if you see Rhys’s brother, you can kick him in the nads for me!”
“Which brother?” Rhys asked, then held up a hand. “I mean, I’ll happily kick either one, I just need to make sure I’ve calculated the appropriate defense strategy once they’ve gotten up.”

I enjoy them

💚 “You know, it was much better for me when you two didn’t like each other.”
“I’ve always liked Gwyn,” Rhys protested, and Gwyn shrugged.
“I didn’t like you.”
“Dickbag,” Sir Purrcival said sleepily from his spot in the middle of the table, and Rhys scowled at the cat.

“The ones where handsome guys hunt ghosts, and they’re always like”—she lowered her voice to a gruff growl—“‘We’re gonna need to make a ring of salt around the perimeter’ or something. So.”

Sam and Dean:
Y’all hear sumn?

💚 “Gwyn had no doubt that whoever he was, his ancestors had absolutely once stared down the business end of a guillotine.
You didn’t get cheekbones like that without oppressing some peasants.”

“May I have your hand, Miss Savoie?”
Gareth flinched, but I squeezed his hand with the one I was still holding to reassure him before setting my other in Gideon’s.

Can he not make this about him, plz. If anyone needs reassurance rn, it’s Livvy

“I always knew Clara could read emotions so well that she knew if one of us was lying. I’d just never thought much about an Aura being used in this capacity in the courtroom, or maybe I’d just not bothered to know.”

Can an Influencer not just… persuade someone to tell the truth?

“You be however you need to be. And I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”

“They’ll kill you! You can’t do this without just cause! Please stop!”

How is this NOT just cause???? Dude was gonna murder you???????

“Then the kiss deepened, as did our love.”

😀🤮

“Why do you think? I’ll grow old and die long before you.”
He frowned. “No, you won’t. Mates age together. You know that.”

SINCE WHEN??

“Picking up the notepad, I stared at the doodle he’d made at the bottom, reading Gareth loves Lavinia inside a scribbled heart, outlined like ten times. Then there was an arrow pointing off to the side. P.S. He also wants to fuck her brains out as soon as possible.
My heart swooned. So did my pussy.”

They’re acting like teenagers. And not in an endearing way.

“He started visiting me at night. I’d be completely asleep, then I’d wake to his weight on top of me, pinning me to the bed while he ravaged my neck, my shoulders, my arms if I tried to beat him off.”
“No, Gareth.” A tear slipped from her eyes.
Don’t cry.” I cupped her face and wiped it away. “I’m okay now.”

why are y’all acting like this is new info. You’ve already had this discussion

When you’re so desensitized that an H foregoing a condom or trying anal without consent (or lube) just doesn’t phase you anymore

“my attention riveted to the sexy AF man in front of me.”

Cross, u didn’t….

- super speed
- telekinesis
- eidetic memory
- “tech savvy”
+ persuasion

He’s such a try hard

“I wanted you to admit that you’re into him.”
True. Of course, all I could think about all week was how many times he’d been into me.

… ew?????