Julia > Recent Status Updates

In the afternoon she sits by the bedroom window waiting for a detailed report on the BBC while Ben naps in the cot. The news comes on and she turns it off shaking with rage, thinking, thi is not the news, this is not the news at all, the news is the civilian watching the soldier outside her home as he lolls on a sandbag playing with his phone, the news is the assault rifle resting against the sandbag

he's in decline and has no awareness of his illness, sometimes it seems that he suspects something is wrong but cannot see his own mind so he turns that suspicion onward, if he's not false then it is the world that is false, there is always someone else to blame

Bailey takes a drink of milk and asks if the country is now at war and Eilish studies the milk moustache and the question in his eyes. They are calling it an insurgency on the international news, Molly says, but if you want to give war its proper name, call it entertainment, we are now TV for the rest of the world

What I see, Eilish, is a black hole opening before us, we have passed the boundary of escape and even when the regime has been overturned the black hole will continue to grow so that it will consume this country for decades

Sooner or later pain becomes too great for fear and when the people's fear has gone the regime will have to go

she goes to bed and cannot sleep, lies watching her fear parade before her like some wretched spectacle, a small voice that wants to speak is shouted down. ... It is then she sees that her fear is gone, this feeling of relief in her body that something now can be done

2/2 Memory lies, it plays its own games, layers one image upon another that might be true or not true, over time the layers dissolve and become like smoke

It has been a long time, she thinks, standing alone outside the office building, sliding a cigarette from the box, fondling the paper skin, running its odour under her nose. The cottony taste of cellulose acetate as she lights and pulls the hot smoke into her mouth, recalling the day she last quit, this feeling of some younger self, perhaps Larry was with her, she doesn't know. 1/2

your husband is where he is because he is an insiter, an agitator against the state during a tim of great threat to this country, you people have no idea what's happening outside in the world, what is coming our way, you will see us all destroyed, this should be a time of unity for our nation but instead there's civil unrest up and down the country and we have to face down the likes of you

Хочется знать, чем книга закончится - точнее, хочется знать, что она закончится хорошо для героини. For my sake

this creeping sense of double time as though her life were unfolding twice along parallel paths.

She pour Carole tea and lets her talk without watching the clock, seeing how the woman’s words have been housed too long in silence, seeing how she makes sense of herself through speech, the words leave the mouth and the mind follows after the words and some sense of understanding is made.

How can I even begin to explain this to the kids, that the state they live in has become a monster?

Whoa, reading a book clearly marked as dystopia and realising the dystopia being described is going on in my own country right now

She seps into the office after lunch nursing an oblique thought. Something is hidden yet asking, the searching mind alighting upon other things.

This winter light, a cold November smear, she is moving through traffic sensing her own exhausted emotion, her motions automatic, resting at the red light she sees not the day ahead but how the day will pass without impression, another day forgotten and absorbed into the silent reckoning of days, seeing herself at work and how she no longer thinks of her work as a career

He turns then and studies his wife as she feeds the child on her breast and the sight of this comfort him, a sense of life contracted to an image so at odds with malice his mind begins to cool.

P.G. - seeing red squirrel while playing war games; growing out of newly bought runners and hiding bloodied socks; being afraid that parents would get divorced and he will be sent to a boarding school

Poetry as claws

Steve Wong is perfect

Our town with Hank Fiset - your evangelista, esperanza

Go see Costas

The past is important for us

Our town today with Hand Fiset - Back from back in time

These are the meditations of my heart

A special weekend

Disappointing your parents is the first thing to do when you come to NY

She’d been in the city for 2 months, sleeping on Rebecca’s couch, her savings were running out, no agents would give her a time of day, she saw a man pissing on a street, she was crying now in particular because the only movies that were telling the truth about NY were about needle parks and taxi drivers on killing sprees

A (naive) newcomer in (hostile) NYC in 1979

Who’s who?