Alex > Recent Status Updates

I reach over to the remote on the nightstand and flip through a few of the channels on the TV, my eyes settling on a rerun of The Golden Girls.
Because I can't be alone right now. Not tonight.
Thanks for being a friend, Betty White.

"Motherf-" Mo buries her head in her hands. "That wasn't a regular gummy bear."
"Yeah, no kidding," I say. "It tasted super weird."
"IT IS DRUGS," Mo whisper-screams at me. "YOU ATE DRUGS." "Say it louder," Will hisses at her. "Let's make sure the whole bar knows."

"It was just a gummy bear!"
"Smokey the Bear, maybe," Jonah replies. Mo jabs him in the ribs. "Ow!"

"Dave gave you what, now?" Mo's voice sounds much higher an usual.
"A piece of candy," I say. "When I came in."
"And you ate it?" Jonah asks.
"No, I saved it in my cheek like a chipmunk, Jonah."

Jonah pushes the menu away. "This place is weird. All their beers are made by, like, German monks who, I don't know, mash the beans with their feet."
Will doesn't laugh. "That's not how you make beer."
"It is at the Monastery of St. Pretentiousness."

“"Are you dealing drugs?" he says then, turning away to look at the kitchen doorway. I can see the tension in his neck.
A pinched laugh bubbles up from inside of me, from where I am still just waiting in the doorway with the night at my back. How ridiculous is it that my dad saw me with the Darlas and he still can't figure it out? I almost wish I was dealing drugs.”

“Then she scoots up the mattress and climbs under my sheet. She must be drunker than I thought.
"Get in here," she says. "You don't want to sleep on top of the bed-spread. It's where all of the bacteria congregate."”

"I don't think I got your names last night."
I take her hand, trying not to look as starstruck as my eleven-year-old self wants me to be. "Great show. I'm Sydney and this is—"
"Calvin," Cass says behind me, clearing his throat. I turn to Cass as if to telepathically communicate, What the hell? but he pointedly ignores me, cheeks still flaming red.