Sharath Iyengar > Recent Status Updates

We loved with a premature love, marked by a fierceness that so often destroys adult lives. I was a strong lad and survived; but the poison was in the wound, and the wound remained ever opened, and soon I found myself maturing.
I could list a great number of these 1-sided romances. Some of them ended in a rich flavor of hell.

We loved with a premature love, marked by a fierceness that so often destroys adult lives. I was a strong lad and survived; but the poison was in the wound, and the wound remained ever opened, and soon I found myself maturing.
I could list a great number of these 1-sided romances. Some of them ended in a rich flavor of hell.

"I walked enchanted, and nothing held me back. Moonlight can play odd tricks upon the fancy, even upon a dreamer's fancy."

She loved mysteries so much that she became one.

With some break-ups, all you can think about afterwards is how badly it ended and how much the other person hurt you. With others, you become sentimental for the good times and lose track of what went wrong. When I think of you, the beginnings and the endings are all mixed up.
It feels like I'm putting my whole heart on the line.

I only accepted under sufferance, and I don't want them anymore. I don't want anything that will remind me of you.

Well, I would have made love. The thought lies heavy and sad in my mind and what's left of my heart. He has never made love to me, has he?

I can't stay. I know what I want and need, and you can't give it to me.

So much has happened since then. I have had my eyes opened and glimpsed the extent of his depravity, and I know he's not capable of love - of giving or receiving love. My worst fears have been realized. And strangely it's liberating. The pain is such that I refuse to acknowledge it. I feel numb. I have somehow escaped from my body and am now a casual observer to this unfolding tragedy.

But this is all meaningless without his love, and the real heart-fail is that I don't know if he's capable of love. He feels undeserving of love. Why does he feel like that? His words haut me.

I think I've kissed a Prince. I hope he doesn't turn into a frog.

It's very hard to grow up in a perfect family when you're not perfect.

I want to share my lifestyle with you. I have never wanted anything so much. Frankly, I'm in awe of you. That says more to me that you can ever know. You fail to see I'm caught in your spell even though I have told you this countless times. I don't want to lose you. I am nervous. My reason vanishes when we're together- that's the depth of my feeling for you.

I'm scared you'll hurt me. Emotionally too. This just isn't the sort of relationship I ever envisaged having. It's a huge leap of faith for me. You dazzle me so much I find it difficult to think clearly when we're together.

But as usual, you overreact. That scares me. You scare me. I am completely caught up in your spell, considering a lifestyle with you that I didn't know existed, and then you write something like that and I want to run screaming into the hills. I wont, of course, because I'd miss you. I want us to work, but I am terrified of the depth of feeling I have for you and the dark path you are leading me down.

A man can hope, dream even, and sometimes his dreams can come true.

Perhaps it's best to back away now with what self-esteem I have reasonably intact. But the thought of not seeing him again is agonizing. How has he gotten under my skin so quickly? I dash the tears from my eyes. I don't want to examine my feelings for him. I'm frightened what I'll uncover if I do. What am I going to do?
Your imagination is your worst enemy.

I don't even know how to categorize him. Will he be my boyfriend? Will I be able to introduce him to my friends? Go out to bards, the cinema, bowling even, with him? The truth is, I don't think I will. He won't let me touch him and he won't let me sleep with him. I know I've not had these things in my past, but I want them in my future. And that's not the future he envisages. How could I cope up with the rejection?

In life, you use what you know.

Relationships like this are built on honesty and trust. If you don't trust me - trust me to know how I'm affecting you, how far I can go with you, how far I can take you - if you can't be honest with me, then we really can't do this.