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So odd. This book does a good job of making you feel just as intellectual as Cadel. Its tone is so dour and bleak. The existence of this book is something I can not seem to fathom.

I think poems might be above me. I read and reread, and still I gleam nothing of value. I feel no closer to understanding anything.

This book is again going to be a slog. I don't know if my ability to read poetry is even up to the task of doing this.

Yeah okay this book is insane. Cadel was almost assaulted and raped by a teacher for being dressed like a woman in the boys restroom. No clue how I read this. Stating to ask questions.

This is kinda gruesome. It’s such a weirdly aged book. I don’t think I should have read this as a child.

Still a strange read. I can't seem to pin down the age range it expects me to be. I think this book and its series may be part of the source of the language I use for myself, thinking evil and malicious connotations are apt to use for myself.

This book is a kind of melancholy I don’t remember having when I read it as a kid. The beginning is filled with a deep loneliness, a huge sadness as Cadel can’t connect to anything or any one. It is also shockingly bare about some subjects. Cadel’s father is a eugenicist, full stop. The prom was a bleak but grounded interpretation of some event like that. Strange all around for a young adult novel.

I am so close to being done. I can’t almost taste it. It’s been a good read. Apart from any of the text actually says, which will be written about, this marks the first book of what I can only hope will be a larger pattern of reading challenging texts.

This book is forcing my hand over and over agin at beocming an avid reader. I love it, and its contents so dearly, for what it means for my cyberpunk game and my knowledge of the world, but it is so dense, and I am so unlearned.

Done with chapter 3. I’ll finish this book yet, and carve out a place I can read in the home. I have to read more than just once a week.

Finally I feel the book has picked up! Interesting insights to the kind and what addiction is. No longer bogged down by definitions and pretense.

I’m back at it. I have a space to read, but this book is so challenging. Just a mental bolder to toil against.

It’s refreshing to have an intellectually challenging text again. I’m following the text well enough to understand the basic idea so far, the author wants to open all understandings of addiction to create the widest, and in his estimation, most accurate scope of what addiction is, so that it can be fully understood and encompassed in the respective sciences that it ebbs in and out of.

Unlike what I was worried about, I think the book is a great read so far. Its scholarly nature is actually very refreshing and something I can parse easily enough. The text is dense so it requires more time to read payed and passages, but nothing has been unapproachable.

As I begin this book, I feel daunted by the work in front of me. I am not usually a non fiction reader and so reading a largely scientific account feels like a large step into a grand unknown.

Great Mystery, new lads, but still early enough to have them make sense. The grotesque nature of body modification and the joy it can bring people. It's weird. It's personal, and most of all, money can sour the whole thing.

Gross, disturbing, and always interesting. Kobo is my favorite main character in a cyberpunk story so far.

Crazy good so far. This man is chuffing erasers like it’s nothing. And the description of bodies. I’m in for a treat.

As I grapple with this book, I grow both more and less fond of green ideals. There are poems that still challenge me, and ones I’ve found are easier. Still rough to open and read however. Still a worthy read too.

The more I read, the closer I get to being able to see what the author intends. After my first read I might read it again to use what’s I’ve learned to see, to look closer this time.

Still difficult to parse, but ultimately a great endeavor. I keep losing track of self when reading these poems, which cause my usually clear vision of the text to become obfuscated. Only through rereads can I grasp again what I’m supposed to be seeing from the words alone.