Jaime > Recent Status Updates

SHIELD WALL!!! WE HAVE AN ANGRY VIKING WOMAN WITH AN AXE!!!

My face right now trying to understand why the enemy monster is teaching the main character to use his power and then killing enemy soldiers (the soldiers attacking with the main character) is a fucking puzzle. What's going on here?

This is exactly why you never trust a French, this guy is full of shit

I'm really loving this so far. Love me an old woman who doesn't have the patience to deal with stupidity, even more if she's a wizard.

If you hear someone screaming, it was me

Hound? Arya? Is that you guys?

“I’m something of a collector.” Vuhas seemed perfectly at ease. He picked up his cutlery again. “I worry about running out of walls for them all, but somehow there’s always room for at least one more.”

Accurate as fuck but with books

The way I remembered mid chapter, from Clytemnestra's POV, what happens to Iphigenia and my mouth dropped...

Yes, this is slow, but boy am I enjoying this tortured journey

Finished book 1 and I feel like this should be a movie, the type of classic fantasy that was on screen in the 90s, with Robin Hood's humour but without the attempt of excessive epicity (for now). I'm loving this

"I am Aragorn son of Arathorn; and if by life or death I can save you, I will."

Even my neighbours have started clapping.

"You can never trust a cobbler. Anyone who spends that long thinking about feet has something wrong with them."

"You are a feast," he told her, "and I, my sweet, I'm ravenous."

SIR, this is not a smut book nor a romantasy even. You can't drop stuff like this without warning... Keep em coming tho, that was good.

"Happy endings are just stories that aren't finished yet."

Abercrombie always so cheerful. The master of grimdark through and through.

"Have a muffin, or four."
"You don't think your colleagues might like some?"
"I'm sure they would, that's why they're all for you.

I THRIVE in this level of pettiness

Close enough, welcome back adult Hermione Granger

Oh so the stakes are high HIGH. I mean, I'm not surprised, but I somewhat expected less than THIS

Okay, I'm crying. Why am I crying? You fucking hero. Fuck it, I'm proud and sad and screaming.

Two lions against a hundred dogs? I feel like I've seen this recently with some gorilla shit

(When I tell you I'm hooked... I'm happy I got no plans today)

Okay so every chapter is telling the story from a different POV all connecting to a main story. Also, this shit gets dark

I still don't know what's going on, but I feel bad for the hairy guy, he just wanted to help

I'm utterly confused at what's going on here

"Well, it's not much of a war until something's burning." This book is too fucking funny

"A sad indictment of the world we live in that we run out of jokes before we run out of enemies."

"At least you hate yourselves more than each other."
"The cornerstone of any friendship."

Sunny does WHAT when no one sees her? I'm gonna cry 😭😭

"Vigga killed him" I'm WHEEZING

This man shouldn't be allowed to be this witty. I'm dying at the elf comebacks

I'm gonna hate this, I can tell you that. This shit is disgusting.

Do you know when people say "I listen to the audiobook to know how to pronounce the names"? Well, Íñiguez is not pronounced like that, the weight falls on the first syllable