Status Updates From Night of the Assholes

"The President of the United States is an asshole! The King and Queen of England, and all members of Parliament and the House of Lords are assholes! The Pope is an asshole! Rip his picture up, fair viewers! Rip it up now!" He looked away from the Teleprompter then, face grave. "I could continue reading, but it's safe to say every world government and religious leader is, in fact, an asshole"

"To become the meat of an asshole sandwich seemed like destiny."

"You are! You're staring at me and accusing me!" She thew down her tea. "But I didn't kill my only child, Kyle, bury him in the dirt floor of the basement and construct an elaborate fantasy world! No, I did not!"

Honey, if I had a dime every time I said that...

"That umbrella you picked up before I shot out those speakers. you were going to stick it up my ass, weren't you?"

"THERE SHOULD BE A BLOODY SKELETON HERE. SORRY." That's the sort of loving attention to detail I LOVE in an homage

One gave her the middle finger with a free hand. (Mother?) The rest ignored her.

"All this is happening for a reason."

Yeah, she thought, to annoy me.

I have never felt so seen by a book before in my entire life. Should I be concerned?