Status Updates From Runaway Horses

Kiyoaki had been beautiful. His life had been useless, devoid of any purpose whatsoever. He had passed swiftly through the world, his beauty severely limited to but a single lifespan, to an instant like that depicted in the chanted line: "Drawing out brine cart along, how briefly we live in this sad world, how fleetingly!"

Kiyoaki's existence, his life, its consequences—Honda realized that it was a long time indeed since he had concentrated so intently on this. It was easy to think of Kiyoaki's life as a breath of fragrance that had wafted faintly over a single era before vanishing. Even so, Kiyoaki's sin, Kiyoaki's heartbreak remained. And Honda himself would never be able to make reparation.

And therefore he persists in feeling that nothing more than a fragile barrier separates him from his youth.
He is forever hearing with the utmost clarity the sounds of this neighboring domain, but there is no way to penetrate the barrier.