Status Updates From A Natural History of the Se...

Incredible so far! Absolutely filled with fascinating information and written in a beautiful lyrical way

Sorry but no, I am not going to read your self-indulgent "sound poem".

I love it when Americans tell us what we do. According to Diane Ackerman, the British still sometimes use the Saxon word, "swyve" for fucking.

I think someone was having her on.

In an entirely imagined picnic with an alien:

"The English cousin asks for a small platter of potted ox tongues..."

I guarantee you, there's no fucking way that's what an English person request above everything else. You mad fucking fantasist.

I could have missed something, but it seems our American friend is too embarrassed to request anything, and presumably finds everything tasteless for lack of bbq sauce.