Status Updates From Ozma of Oz

I don’t understand why Langwidere is apparently the only member of the royal family not locked up? How come she has free rein of the palace?

THAT’S NOT HOW ROLLING CARPETS WORKS.

Not the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman immediately meeting someone new and being like “damn, we’re just better than you.” They never received tact, that’s for damn sure.

Dorothy knew immediately she’d love Ozma dearly. Ahem.

I’m so happy the Wheeler leader isn’t joining the main cast, they make me uncomfortable. Though I’m sure he’ll make another appearance sometime.

Langwidere is a piece of work. One of the few truly villainous characters we’ve encountered. How did she get the 30 heads to start? Did she kill for them? How can she transfer heads like that? Why does she want an adolescent head? She sleeps without a head????

What reason does Bill have not to believe Dorothy about Oz? After all the nonsense they’ve seen so far? For her to be like “a land where animals can talk is ridiculous.” You’re a CHICKEN. TALKING. I thought you were the sensible one.

If Tiktok has been asleep all this time, how does he know about the recent events in Oz? Does he have wifi? Does he update his encyclopedia? How long has he been in this cave?

DOROTHY KNOWS THE TIN WOODMAN’S NAME TOO? NONSENSE. Stop gaslighting us, Baum, I know what I read!

Tiktok seems nice. What the hell was that insane backstory though? That king seemed bipolar. And how long has it been since that happened?

THE LAND OF EV? WHAT ON EARTH, WHAT ABOUT OZ??? ALL OUR BUDDIES. Scarecrow and Tin Woodman and Glinda are all on the cover! The land of Ev can get out of here with its rubbish.

I didn’t think we could get much worse than the freaking Woggle Bug, but I think we have with these wheelers. Wheel hands and feet made out of NAIL?? However lighthearted the book, it’s still giving body horror to me.

Not Oz? This is an Oz book. What do you mean it must be a different fairy country???

How is the chicken the most sensible character so far. Not even an Ozzy chicken either, just a normal one.

Man, Dorothy has become a lot more insistent since the first book. (I think Toto must have died in the interim and so it’s been a few years.) And what’s with this new accent she’s developed?

Making friends with an animal you regularly eat is infinitely more screwed up than a chicken eating bugs.

I freaking love Bill. I hate that Dorothy and the book are insisting on Billina. I won’t be calling her that.

Dorothy’s back! How random for her and just Uncle Henry to be going to Australia to meet “some relatives they had never before seen.” They’re leaving Aunt Em for… months? At least.

Dorothy seems older. How long has it been since the first book?

She really knows how to find a natural disaster to get (literally) swept up in. And she’s never fazed about it. Always manages to sleep.

WHERE’S TOTO??