Status Updates From Flirtasaurus (Natural Histo...

At 1%: “This is not one of those stories where the adorable hot mess of a woman spends twenty chapters bumbling and stumbling her way through life[. …] I love me a hot mess, but that just isn’t me. I’m the opposite of a hot mess. […] I have my proverbial shit together. Clearly. “GET ME OUT OF HERE OR IMMA LOSE MY SHIT!””

Nothing in the following 17% supports her not being a hot mess. It’s cringe.

The irony that the character is named Calliope not lost on me, since she's about the furthest thing from a muse of poetry and eloquence... until you also remember that calliope is also a harsh steam whistle organ... and then it makes perfect sense. Because you just wish the character would shut. The. Fuck. Up.

I'm seriously hate-reading this book. It's trying too hard, has too much dialogue, the situational cringe-comedy isn't working, the main character is a hypocritical impulsive bitch, and she just attacked Friends. I'm over it.

I don't think I've ever had a book piss me off the way this one just did. I don't DNF, but I can say with unequivocal vehemence that it will be getting a 1* rating. It's just shit.

Not sure what to say here when the first word of the book is, "Shit," and there is an entire page where there is only one singular sentence that is not dialogue! Oh boy. This is gonna be a rough one.