Status Updates From The Things We Find (Mystica...

Ok. So this story took it’s time to get going, ie it was a bit dull at the start. It’s gotten more interesting as we go along, but like, it was sudden.
The writing style is bothering me a little. The writing, especially the dialogue, is kinda stiff, kinda wooden, while also being (too?) direct. It’s …. odd. And there’s something bothering me about too many ideas in a sentence, and not enough commas.