Status Updates From Good Enough Parenting: A Si...

When your rules are unclear it is hard for children to know what is breaking the rule and it makes it hard for parents to enforce the rule 100% of the time

Ex. “Show respect”

What do I do if I am not addressing all of my child’s misbehaviors? Ignoring (science backed). If your child is not in immediate danger, not hurting themselves or someone else, and not destroying property, it can help to ignore the misbehavior. Whining, tantrums, sarcasm, etc can all be ignored with little risk to your child’s growth and development. The less attention you give to them the less you’ll see them

Instead of being primed to discipline any sort of misbehavior, parents who use selective discipline move to containment (discipline) only when it matters most

By allowing and not chasing after behaviors that are not in short list of discipline parent narrow their disciplinary focus. The result is less time arguing with children every time they do something annoying or don’t do what they’re told to do.

Selective discipline is needed if parents want to maintain 4:1 positive interaction ratio with their children

Making 80% of your encounters with your child positive can be hard to think do, but a well chosen non response can be incredibly useful to parents

Too much discipline can affect your efforts of being accepting.

We help children more when we work to understand what they feel and not why they feel

Key feature of accepting is less is more

Going small and moving slowly in your effort of accepting can be more powerful.

Accepting is-

Taking time and making an effort to know children as who they really are

Believing and loving on and valuing the whole child. Not being picky about the parts you accept

Delivering a consistent message of belonging and a persistent effort to understand

Children who feel accepted have a higher tendency to share their thoughts, opinions and emotions with their parents. They are comfortable in their skin and around others

Although they are related accepting is it the same thing as loving your child. The key difference is that love is much grander and multifaceted. Everything you do for your children is done because you love them. Children can’t easily see and know all the things you do, so parents also need to show acceptance. Intentionally, sincerely and repeatedly.

Parents who don’t take short regularly scheduled breaks (1-3 hours) from parenting, are less likely to know and appreciate their incredible value. The real value of these breaks is not as a solution for parenting burnout but as a tool for preventing parent burnout. Parents who take breaks aren’t waiting for their tank to run empty to refuel

Studies have shown that families who eat dinner together have children who do better academically, have lower rates of depression & anxiety, use substances less, have a lower risk for teen pregnancy, and enjoy higher levels of self esteem and resiliency.

In sibling rivalry be a conflict coach not referee. This teaches children conflict resolution