Status Updates From Guards! Guards! (Discworld,...

'It can't be a girl dragon, it's too big to a girl!'
*Everyone realizing Sybil is a unit of a lady*
"A five figure of a dragon, I mean. "
"Wide, egg-bearing hips"
"Statueskew."
💀😭 They back pedaled so hard they ended up on another continent.

"What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a dragon being arrested before?"
Eeey, he's work'n here! Lol

"She patted her nightie. 'I must take some notes, I've got my memo book somewhere . . .'
'In your nightshirt?'
'Is amazing how ideas come to one in bed, I've always said."

She's so real for that. - 356pg

"It's Carrot. He's arrested the dragon."

Vimes - proud dad of a couple of dumbest kids. Lmao - 362pg

Look at those idiots taking on a dragon.
OH NO, those are MY IDIOTS!!! - 346pg

*Lady Ramkin wrapping a chain around her fist*
" Some of those guards don't know how to treat—"
"No time, no time. " - 350pg

I love the consistent commentary on humanities pitfalls and our penchant for cruelty -321pg

"Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in." This man is playing in 4D.
Bc as an overlord, at some point you have to expect a coup. - 325pg

"Besides, the guard captain wasn't sure he had enough men to drag Lady Ramkin anywhere."
I choose to believe this is a comment on how bamf our lady is, and not a shot at her weight.
(But unfortunately, I know deep in my heart that isn't true.)
.
What a queen 👸! She came out full charge, sword at the ready, with a warriors cry.

The palace guards knowing common action tropes as well as the next person, and deeply concerned about all of them being called to take down one guy who's smiling.

They've seen John Wick and Chuck Norris, they know how this goes.

"You can't give me my job back. It was never yours to take away. I was never an officer of the city, or officer of the king, or an officer of the Patrician. I was an officer of the law. It might have been corrupted and bent, but it law, of a sort. There isn't any law now.."

Vimes:
*Throws the mugguffin at the back of the evil masterminds head from where he's been hiding in the shadows* "Looking for this, we're you?"

*Evil mastermind trying to pin the blame on someone else* *Vimes with his new, spangled, threatening aura* "Run."

Bad@ss

🥕: Looks like a cinnamon Roll, could actually kill you (but won't bc he's too sweet) - 310pg
..

Plot Twist!!
Did NOT see that one coming! But now that I'm looking at it, it makes so much sense. Like, there was this tension that my gay @ss read as sexual, but I knew that wasn't the case!! So why didn't I question the amount of page time this gut was getting?!

It's a sick acceptance we've socialized into our citizens. Dehumanizing someone to normalize inhuman treatment we'd never wish upon "good people."

It gets me so heated.

Don't get me started on that. The dehumanization of the incarcerated. The same kind of thinking that leads to the acceptance of 🍇 jokes made about prisoners. This warped acceptance that allows ppl to feel okay about overcrowding, denying ppl necessities like glasses or menstrual pads, and using them as modern-day slaves while stacking the system against them to deny parole and cont. using their free labor.

I love his immediate concern for the madames.

Carrot might just be this world's messiah. Hanging out with the jezabells, raised by adopted parents. I bet he's a fantastic carpenter. - 295pg

I keep coming back to the theory that Errol is pregnant, but that can't be. Errol's a guy. I mean, surely Mrs. Ramkin would have noticed if he wasn't. She's kind of the leading expert on these things. - 297pg

STFU, how'd I miss that?! 😂💀 - 263pg

Not Sybil being like 'us that our song' as a dragon rampages through the city.
Eyyy, you miss all the shots you don't take. -269pg

"We were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless, and terrible. But this much I can tell you, you ape, we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and came out morality." - 288pg

I like the whole pants/pant leg metaphor for a split timeline thing. Definitely haven't heard that example before, but it works.

I've kinda had this theory from the beginning that Carrot is actually a descendent of Ank royalty, and I hope I'm right.

I also think that if he is, he'll turn down the... fk I just realized something!

The sword is literally so unmagical it's practically anti magic!
And the dragons need magic to survive!

Anyways, I think he'll turn down the throne bc he's likes working at the watch, and bc he's so humble.

So good

Lo del comienzo de esto no tiene nombre, me estoy riendo con los malos como un desquiziado

slightly foxed and extremely dragoned. It's the exact sort of word play that I expect from Terry Pratchett. I love it

I have no idea what Lady Ramkin did to endear such respect from Nobby, but I love it. I love their interactions. The way he seeks her approval is wonderful.
'Well I could kick him in the balls if it pleases you my lady. Always happy punish a man for mildly inconveniencing you with his obvious distress. Bro, your trauma is traumatizing the lady. Quit it.'

"Books bend space and time. One reason the owners of those aforesaid little rambling, poky secondhand bookshops always seem slightly unearthly is that many of them are." -215p
"All libraries everywhere are connected in L-space. All libraries. Everywhere." -215p


I love that Vimes is essentially just keeping a pet bomb. -220

It's giving "I'm not a hero" just a guy trying to do the right thing.

It took a second to see Vimes' true colors, since in the beginning he was mostly drunk. But now that we do, he really is a good guy with a good heart. Despite the fact that those shadows on the wall were probably going to gut them, he doesn't think anyone should go out like that. 

I respect that. 

Was worried it was losing steam but we are so back

STFU! Dragon Acquired!! SHE'S GIVING VIMES ONE OF THE SWAMP PUPPIES!!! 🐉🐥

Damn Vimes. Didn't know you had it in you! 😲 That was almost smooth.

Sassy assassin.
Head merchant: What do dragons eat?
Head Thief: I think I recall them eating virgins.
Head Assassin: It'll starve around here.

"—wear and tear on virgins—"
I need to sit down. 😭💀😂
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*The unicorn hunter talking about how you need virgins to hunt unicorns*
Hunter #1: Right. Hey, I thought this were pretty rare these days?
Unicorn Hunter Guy: Oh they are. And you don't see many unicorn these days either.

Stfu lol
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Ayyy! They ain't having his slut shaming.

A sword made by "One of those little Zen guys who works only by the light of dawn and can beat a club sandwich of folded steel into something with the cutting edge of a scalpel and the stopping-power of a sex-crazed rhinoceros on bad acid." -134p
.
"Copper bracelets guaranteed to bring relief from dragons"
It's an arthritis joke! I appreciate that. -138p

Todo esté tiempo, a lo mejor era un dragón rechoncho que puede explorar en cualquier momento y tiene la realidad alterada.....

First Pratchet book babyyyy