Status Updates From Big Friendship: How We Keep...

“Aminatou’s friend Antoine once emailed her a sentiment she shares: ‘I love that’s you’ve known every version of me. You were there at the beginning and I want you there at the end.’ “ -Pg. 202

And the note from Pg.199 about how everyone misses their friends when they’re dying. I was sobbinggg.

David Sedaris’ essay in ‘The New Yorker’ about the “four burners” theory. 1) family 2) friends 3) health and 4) work. Usually friendship in the first one out on the slow/back burner.

This metaphor makes it seem clear, but if only it was that easy. Life unfortunately isn’t separated into pots.

“In her book, ‘You’re the Only One I can Tell, Tanner explains that a difference in conversation styles — or each persons’s unique way of saying what they mean and interpreting what another person is saying — is often the invisible culprit that arises between friends who are women.” -Pg. 166

Finished the chapter on ‘The Stretch’ and definitely resonated more with Ann here - “The longer she’s been friends with someone, the more she’ll stretch without reciprocity. But even that has its limits. For Ann, deciding not to stretch usually ends up feeling like a slow fade, now a clean break ...” - Pg. 97.

“Some people will have you believe that by sharing knowledge you’ve gained, you are losing your advantage. It’s simply not true. Shine Theory has only moved us closer to our goals. We have gained so much by sharing information that helped our friends get new jobs, make more money, or navigate tricky work problems.” - Pg. 74

Note to self: Look up Kath Weston’s, the anthropologist, research about ‘chosen family.’ Pg. 52

“It’s possible to go months without seeing a longtime friend and still feel close to them, but new friends require steady investment.” -Pg. 23

I also totally get the concept of ‘social moochers.’ -Pg. 24