Status Updates From Innocent's Nine-Month Scandal

I'm in chapter 3 and it's boring 👎😒

No sh*t, if I'm going to be imprisoned for a wrongful accusation, my fist will land on his temporomandibular joint, and I'll make sure soft diet will be his friend for the next weeks if not months

Enjoying this so far!

“I’m always amused when I visit America and they proudly show off a historic building that is ‘over a hundred years old.’ Call me when you get to a thousand”

I know :( It's sad our buildings don't have such rich history

“He was a man of untold wealth, but she was the one with the richer life, she realized with sudden clarity. And she was defeated by that. By the recognition that she was the one in possession of something he needed-a heart.”

"...I'll walk to the village as soon as we're finished playing 'the floor is lava' and get the pill."

Ohhhh... memories... That was a fun game ;D

"I questioned my staff and asked the police to pay you a visit. Arresting you was over eagerness on their part. That wasn't my intention or request"

I hope they were as disappointed w/ the results as this kid :(

“The ones whose kisses were like digestive biscuits…

…and their touches clumsy as a dog’s nose going where it wasn’t wanted”

"Easy to see why your mother had to be bribed into marrying that sort of charm"

I love how blunt/honest this h is :D