Status Updates From Ozma of Oz #3 (Oz, #3)

It keeps not going at all how I expect it’s going to. Dorothy going in without Bill talking to her first, just by chance actually managing to pick one correctly and save herself from being ornamented. I keep assuming there’s gonna be some dramatic success where someone (Dorothy) finds and transforms everyone altogether.

Why are the Lion and Tiger allowed to go free? Why not ornament them too just for funsies?

NOT THE TIN WOODMAN. How tragic that he and Scarecrow got separated, possibly FOREVER. He’s worried about his PRIDE. What a faithful husband. :(

I honestly half expected Tiktok to just matter-of-factly declare what each of the transformed objects were. He always seems to know everything.

Somehow Bill being left in the throne room is going to be significant and help our protagonists win the game, I just know it!

I love the way this trial is structured like a classic fairytale but then subverts it. At first you think that Ozma will succeed, because she’s a main character. Even as her guesses dwindle down, you think she’ll be victorious in the end. And then she lets fate take the last guess, and you think against all odds it’ll be correct. But NOPE. She freaking dies (for all intents and purposes, anyway). No morals! XD

I’m surprised that fairytale logic caveat didn’t work on the Nome king. That shit always works.

Seriously, Ozma, you expected to conquer a whole kingdom with twenty-seven men? You really are a child.

What is it with fairytale people? Why can’t the king just ask for gold or something like a normal person? Instead it’s this weird challenge puzzle. What perverse pleasure does he get out of this kinda ordeal?

I bet Bill’s egg is going to hatch in the end. It’s weird how it was focused on if not.

I really thought we were going to use the soldiers being too scared of the hammer as an excuse to leave them outside, but I guess not. Baum loves a good oversized party. Surprised Langwidere really didn’t come.

Not the Sawhorse!! Poor baby gets so abused! His leg cracked and ears broken clean off! That’s awful. T-T

The Nome king has done no wrong? Imprisoning people is wrong. Transforming them into objects is wrong. And being on the purchasing end of human trafficking is also wrong. Wtf, Tiktok?

Are nomes just… gnomes?

There being one single private so all the other officers have someone to give orders to is peak comedy, Baum killed it with this joke. XD

Wasn’t the Sawhorse’s name a hyphenate in the previous book?

Aww, Dorothy hugged Scarecrow first! It’s what he deserves! He’s her FATHER.

Interesting that the Lion, unlikely Scarecrow and Tin Woodman, has admitted that he’s not really any more courageous after the Wizard “fixed” him.

Oh great, now we have Tiger Gandhi. Eat a salad dude. I can tell I shan’t like him any more than the Lion.

I freaking love Bill so much. She’s an icon and she is the moment.

I don’t understand why Langwidere is apparently the only member of the royal family not locked up? How come she has free rein of the palace?

THAT’S NOT HOW ROLLING CARPETS WORKS.

Not the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman immediately meeting someone new and being like “damn, we’re just better than you.” They never received tact, that’s for damn sure.

Dorothy knew immediately she’d love Ozma dearly. Ahem.

I’m so happy the Wheeler leader isn’t joining the main cast, they make me uncomfortable. Though I’m sure he’ll make another appearance sometime.

Langwidere is a piece of work. One of the few truly villainous characters we’ve encountered. How did she get the 30 heads to start? Did she kill for them? How can she transfer heads like that? Why does she want an adolescent head? She sleeps without a head????

What reason does Bill have not to believe Dorothy about Oz? After all the nonsense they’ve seen so far? For her to be like “a land where animals can talk is ridiculous.” You’re a CHICKEN. TALKING. I thought you were the sensible one.

If Tiktok has been asleep all this time, how does he know about the recent events in Oz? Does he have wifi? Does he update his encyclopedia? How long has he been in this cave?

DOROTHY KNOWS THE TIN WOODMAN’S NAME TOO? NONSENSE. Stop gaslighting us, Baum, I know what I read!

Tiktok seems nice. What the hell was that insane backstory though? That king seemed bipolar. And how long has it been since that happened?

THE LAND OF EV? WHAT ON EARTH, WHAT ABOUT OZ??? ALL OUR BUDDIES. Scarecrow and Tin Woodman and Glinda are all on the cover! The land of Ev can get out of here with its rubbish.

I didn’t think we could get much worse than the freaking Woggle Bug, but I think we have with these wheelers. Wheel hands and feet made out of NAIL?? However lighthearted the book, it’s still giving body horror to me.

Not Oz? This is an Oz book. What do you mean it must be a different fairy country???

How is the chicken the most sensible character so far. Not even an Ozzy chicken either, just a normal one.

Man, Dorothy has become a lot more insistent since the first book. (I think Toto must have died in the interim and so it’s been a few years.) And what’s with this new accent she’s developed?

Making friends with an animal you regularly eat is infinitely more screwed up than a chicken eating bugs.

I freaking love Bill. I hate that Dorothy and the book are insisting on Billina. I won’t be calling her that.

Dorothy’s back! How random for her and just Uncle Henry to be going to Australia to meet “some relatives they had never before seen.” They’re leaving Aunt Em for… months? At least.

Dorothy seems older. How long has it been since the first book?

She really knows how to find a natural disaster to get (literally) swept up in. And she’s never fazed about it. Always manages to sleep.

WHERE’S TOTO??